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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26841946">Home, Aisle 9</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feathers7501/pseuds/Feathers7501'>Feathers7501</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ioascc/pseuds/ioascc'>ioascc</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adultry, Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Domestic Fluff, Extramarital Affairs, Fertility Issues, Light Angst, M/M, Omega Dean Winchester, Teacher Castiel (Supernatural), Teacher Dean Winchester, Top Aaron Bass</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:01:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>21,107</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26841946</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feathers7501/pseuds/Feathers7501, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ioascc/pseuds/ioascc</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester is content with his lot in life. He’s content with his husband, Aaron, of seventeen years. He’s content with their house and lifestyle. He would even dare to say he would be happy if his “biological clock” would stop sounding the alarm that he’s a thirty-five year old Omega who desperately wants a family of his own. (Like he needs the reminder.) It’s not until he meets an Alpha in the personal aisle of the grocery store that he realizes how much more his life could be.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aaron Bass/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>67</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>382</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello everyone! This lovely tale was long ago inspired by a FB wall fic in the DestielForever FB group. In it, Alpha Dean was married to Anna, unable to conceive a child the two asked  Omega Castiel to conceive and carry. Of course, like many iterations of our favorite men, Dean and Castiel fall in love. This lovely "wall fic" got Feathers &amp; I thinking... of infidelity, mates, and desperately wanting a baby. Home, Aisle 9 was born! And we do hope you enjoy it. </p><p>Thank you to the lovely abnormal_ace for your editing! </p><p>Much love to all you readers out there!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
</p>
<p>“Mr. Winchester, despite the result of your at-home test, our blood tests indicate that you are not pregnant.” The doctor drones on, flicking through his chart without acknowledging Dean’s crumbling expression and souring scent, “What you are currently experiencing is a common side effect amongst long term usage of heat suppressants. A lot of Omegas of your advanced age go through the early stages of pseudocyesis. My immediate recommendation is that you stop taking your current heat suppressants. I see here on your chart that you’ve been taking Drospirenone for the past twenty-two years and that you're married, not mated. I think you and your <em>partner</em> should discuss an alternative to your heats besides suppressants...”</p>
<p>Dumbstruck, Dean swallows the uncomfortable lump in his throat and nods along with the condescending doctor as he drones on, unheeded, about Dean’s heats. He doesn’t really listen, he’s already heard the important information… he’s not pregnant.  He feels his eyes prick with tears, but he will be damned if he’ll cry in front of this Alpha asshole. Instead, he stares at the poster advertising Antibiotics on the wall behind the doctor’s head. Prescribed for UTIs and other bacterial infections… good to know.</p>
<p>“Well, Mr. Winchester, do you have any other questions for me?” Dean shakes his head no. “Have a nice day then,” he says dismissively.</p>
<p>Woodenly, Dean makes his way out of the office to the safety of his beloved Impala. His feet feel heavy as lead and his heartbeat is thudding loudly in his chest. In such an enclosed space, he can smell the distress and disappointment rolling off himself in waves. It makes his normally rich honey scent smell burnt and bitter, causing more tears to well up in his eyes, a vicious feedback loop of misery. The cloying scent is clogging his throat and Dean quickly cranks the window down to let in the fresh air. Rubbing his sweating palms on his faded jeans, he tries to rein in the emotions that threaten to spill over.</p>
<p>
  <em>Not pregnant. </em>
</p>
<p>He had convinced himself that he was pregnant. Dean has been gaining weight, he’s had morning sickness, and the dreams he’s been having have been so vivid. At first in his dreams, he could feel his baby fluttering beneath his skin right under his ribs. Then the dreams evolved to the point where Dean could almost feel the baby, nuzzling warm and heavy on his chest. Every morning, the phantom sensations of downy hair pressed up against his nose, the little fingers clutched tight to him, and the weight of a child at his breast haunts him.</p>
<p>Closing his eyes and tipping his head back, Dean tries his best to compartmentalize and pack those dreams away. He had never thought he wanted a family of his own, that was one of the reasons why he had married Aaron at eighteen. They had been best friends and Aaron was so forward-thinking about Omega rights, giving Dean freedoms that he never would have managed under the thumb of his controlling Alpha father. At eighteen, Dean wanted freedom and not old fashioned notions about what an Omega should or should not do. </p>
<p>His father did his best, but he had smothered Dean. Dean’s mother had passed away young, so all John Winchester’s time and affection were centered on his two boys. From sunup to sundown, all John cared about was providing for the boys that Mary had left behind. They had traveled the country, John taking odd jobs here and there when he could. Being a single father, it was difficult for John to work and care for the boys.</p>
<p>Eventually, the family ended up in Windom, Minnesota. There, when Dean was eleven, his father had married Kate Milligan and the two newlyweds had Adam. Dean had hoped that his father’s behavior would ease up when he married again, but John kept a tight rein on Dean and Sam. It only became worse when Dean reached puberty at the age of twelve. John ascribed to very traditional Alpha notions, where he believed that Omegas stayed at home in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant, and most importantly... <em>safe</em>. John was obsessed with Dean’s safety, it was something John could control, unlike the cancer that robbed him of Mary. He trained Dean to protect himself, to protect Sam, and to be a good Omega by following his Alpha’s rules. <em>Stay inside. Don’t leave the house. Don’t answer the door. Take care of Sammy.</em> Dean couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t do anything without John’s permission. So, naturally, he rebelled. As soon as he could, Dean ran off with Aaron to gain his long-awaited freedom.</p>
<p>If only he could go back in time, Dean would warn himself that he was trading one cage for another. Not to say Aaron was a bad spouse… but as Dean grew in age his desires and needs had evolved and Aaron could not evolve with them.</p>
<p>In the beginning, the awkward and very infrequent sex didn’t bother Dean. He was still coming to terms on what it meant to be an Omega and frankly, at eighteen he did not want to deal with heats and slick and that animalistic urge of wanting to be claimed. At thirty-five, Dean’s needs had changed and he craved to be with an Alpha. His “biological clock” had sounded the alarm in his late twenties and his desire to get pregnant had only increased since then. He wanted to experience pregnancy, even the uncomfortable parts, but more desperately he wanted to be a mother to his child. Dean thought these past two months were the answer to his prayers.</p>
<p>It was once in a blue moon that he and Aaron had sex, usually just on their birthdays and the rare anniversary. Aaron rarely initiated sex but it had been his birthday, and Dean always tried to be enthusiastic about his fumblings. When they did fuck, it usually was a complete disaster. Aaron was a sloppy drunk, came pretty much instantly, and left Dean high and dry to take care of himself while he passed out. Even though it was terrible, Dean still held out hope that he could have gotten pregnant despite the low odds.</p>
<p>Regardless, Dean didn’t complain about the long bouts of celibacy because he loved Aaron. Aaron was an amazing, considerate, and loving partner. Their relationship, outside of the bedroom, was intimate and comforting. It was like living with his best friend who just happened to occasionally sleep in the same bed as him for the past seventeen years. They had a wonderful house in Lawrence, a nice yard, plenty of man toys stocked in the garage, and an awesome lifestyle. It was not like Aaron could help his lack of sex drive, Aaron had never presented and completely lacked the subgender sex characteristics. Aaron was rare, but Dean being a male Omega was rare as well and so Dean thought they’d be okay. He thought this warm but mostly platonic relationship would be enough.</p>
<p>And it was… until Dean kept seeing pregnant Omegas and babies everywhere he went. The constant reminder of what he couldn’t have was starting to wear him down.</p>
<p>A text alert from Aaron asking Dean to stop at the store for kale and deodorant broke Dean’s internal musings. Random things, but he remembered that Aaron’s mother wanted to make shakshuka that night. Wiping his hands down his face, Dean cranked up the car and drove to their favorite grocery store with the windows fully down to air out his funk. He popped in his favorite tape, singing out loud to try to shake off his misery. But even Robert Plant couldn’t erase his deep sense of sadness and loss.</p>
<p>He tried to be swift with his errand, wanting the comfort of his bed and to start the day over tomorrow. Unfortunately, fate was really not on his side, while picking up kale and heading to the personal section of the grocery store there were suddenly pregnant women…a whole group of them had crowded his vision. Their bellies extended and the conversation animated and happy, the combined scents of joy, fertility, and baby filled the aisle. The intense pain was like pouring lemon juice into an open wound. Dean went to the other end, head down, trying to duck between the bellies to get to the damn deodorant.</p>
<p>“It only took one weekend for Michael to get me pregnant,” one woman laughed, rubbing her belly confidently and proudly.</p>
<p>“Girl, you and me both… I swear Henry just winked at me and BOOM I was pregnant. We didn’t even get to the good part of us trying for months on end, kinda disappointing,” another answered.</p>
<p>“Oh man, I felt the same. I come from a long line of fertile Myrtles,” another joked.</p>
<p>Trying to breathe shallowly, and knowing despondency was rolling off of him waves causing one of the women to look at him and wrinkled her nose. Their combined scents were annoyingly happy, Dean’s misery was polluting their party.</p>
<p>“Just trying to get to the deodorant,” Dean grumbled.</p>
<p>“Oh sorry,” the fertile Myrtle squeaked and moved away quickly.</p>
<p>“I feel so bad for Omegas who want to get pregnant but can’t,” another haughtily pregnant Omega commented, her eyes flickering towards Dean. “But maybe it’s just meant to be.”</p>
<p>Unseeing, Dean’s vision blurred while looking at the deodorant. <em>What a bitch. </em>Normally, a comment like that would just roll off his shoulders, he would have told that hoity-toity cow to fuck off. But today of all days... he couldn’t stop the snarky little comment from getting through his armor and stabbing him right in the heart. His imaginary dream baby would never come to be… He wasn’t pregnant and it wasn’t looking like he would become pregnant any time soon. Distressed, his scent intensified becoming quite pungent, letting everyone in the aisle know he was an Omega in despair.</p>
<p>If only he could remember Aaron’s brand of deodorant and get the heck out of there. No, instead he was rooted to the spot clutching a bag of fucking kale for a dish he didn’t even like. <em>What insane person puts runny eggs in tomato sauce? His mother in law, that’s who. </em></p>
<p>“I hate to break up this cackle, but I need to get to the shampoo behind you ladies,” a deep voice with a hint of sarcasm cuts through the ladies and they disperse in a huff.</p>
<p>Dean sniffed back his impending tears and looked up at the harsh fluorescents, some people were just cruel. Those damn hyenas had no clue that his dreams of a child of his own had been destroyed thirty minutes ago. Unbidden, a few tears escaped from his eyes and his nose threatened to run.</p>
<p>“Here,” the deep voice said closer to Dean, as a handkerchief appeared in his peripheral vision and Dean gladly accepted it, “They were being quite insensitive. Are you alright?”</p>
<p>“Fine,” Dean grunted out, wiping his eyes and sniffling.</p>
<p>The man replied shortly, “I don’t believe you.”</p>
<p>Dean let out a humorless laugh, dropping his eyes and not quite looking over at the man who came to his rescue. He steps closer into Dean’s reach and the smell of Alpha fills Dean’s senses. His Alpha rescuer smells of sweet earth, fresh air, and sunshine. Dean can’t quite tell if he’s mated or not, not like that matters to Dean because this man, this Alpha smells amazing. Just by scenting him, Dean could almost feel himself sitting out in a park being gently warmed by the sun. It soothes him and calms him. Dean tries to be unobtrusive as he scents the air, breathing the scent in deeply.</p>
<p>Looking over at his rescuer, Dean feels the patter of his heart in his throat, this man is so breathtakingly handsome. Crystal blue eyes, sharp jaw with wide handsome lips, wild dark hair, and strong broad shoulders underneath a dark suit. His blue tie loose hanging backward around his neck, stark against the crisp white of his shirt. </p>
<p>Dean sways in the presence of the Alpha, his eyes tearing up even further when he takes in the alphas’ friendly concerned face. <em>So beautiful, </em>he thinks,  <em>I wish he was mine. My Alpha. </em></p>
<p>“Come here, Omega,” the older Alpha softly commands, voice deep and rumbling. He pulls Dean into a warm hug and a large hand rubs his back in slow steady circles. Still holding on to the stupid bag of kale, Dean sinks into the comfort of the Alpha’s waiting arms. It feels like home and Dean relaxes into him. Propriety be damned, he presses his nose right up against the stranger’s neck and breathes in deeply.</p>
<p>“I’m going to assume that you have received some really distressing news today,” the man whispers softly, rubbing Dean’s back as he speaks, “Those hyenas didn’t make it any better, I swear we need to send everyone back to kindergarten and teach kindness all over.”</p>
<p>A snort of barely contained laughter erupts from Dean, the irony of this stranger’s statement strikes Dean. He’s a kindergarten teacher.</p>
<p>“Glad to make you laugh, sweet Omega,” the man chuckles but continues the light petting, up and down the stranger's hand goes. His fingertips play with the hairs on the back of Dean’s neck. His Alpha holds him close, sweetly like Dean is a treasure to be revered. He doesn’t know how long his Alpha holds him… but Dean’s heart slows and his scent mellows back to the soft honey smell. He feels a soft press of soft lips to his forehead.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” Dean whispers against his neck, taking in one last pull of his Alpha’s scent and stepping back.</p>
<p>“You’re welcome,” Alpha says back, his large hand cupping Dean’s shoulder. He looks hesitant to let Dean go. His fingers still wrapped around Dean’s upper arm, staring into Dean’s eyes.</p>
<p>In the middle of the personal items aisle, in his heart Dean enters a covenant with this Alpha. It is unspoken, but something within him clicks into place and he knows without a doubt that this man… this Alpha is the one for him. He’s the one that his Omega has been looking for and it feels like coming home.</p>
<p>It’s not until he has Dean’s own hand within his own that the Alpha lets Dean go, wearing a soft sad smile. He must have felt Dean’s wedding ring. With a sinking feeling, the simple white gold band had never felt heavier to him. His cage. The Alpha clears his throat, his eyes sad but he reaches over and squeezes Dean’s hand one last time and then quickly letting go…turning and leaving the aisle briskly, his long legs eating up the distance. Away from Dean.</p>
<p>Feeling even more lost than he was before, Dean grabs the first deodorant he can lay his hand on. Pocketing the Alpha’s handkerchief and then blindly making his way out of the grocery store and home.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Dinner that night is a quiet affair. Aaron’s mother Leah scents Dean when he first comes home but doesn’t comment on the smell of lingering Alpha on Dean’s skin. She just gives him a look and Dean dodges her questioning eyes for their entire meal. The moment in the grocery store is his and his alone, he’ll take it to his grave and he’s not willing to cheapen it by sharing it with anyone.</p>
<p>Dean dips away after dinner, wanting to go to bed early and spend some time alone before Aaron comes to bed. Standing in the bathroom, the mist of the shower heat intensifies the smell of the kind Alpha emanating from his clothes.</p>
<p>Breathing deeply, Dean can almost summon the illusion of the strong body of his Alpha pressed up against him placing soft kisses on his scent gland. Voice rumbling in his ear, murmuring sweet nothings, and hands slowly unwrapping Dean from his layers of clothes.</p>
<p>“Woolgathering? You're wasting water, man. Think of the polar bears,” Aaron comments ducking into the bathroom.</p>
<p>With the illusion shattered, his Alpha disappears like a puff of smoke. Grunting a reply, Dean shucks out of his clothes...irritated that Aaron has interrupted the sanctuary of his internal musing.</p>
<p>“How’d your doctor's appointment go?”</p>
<p>“He wants me off suppressants,” Dean replies, shouting over the water, “Aaron, please tell me you are not taking a shit while I’m in the shower. We’ve got another bathroom.”</p>
<p>“I’m not taking a shit,” Aaron replies, opening the shower door and closing it quickly behind him. Apparently, Aaron has decided to join him which Dean usually doesn’t mind, they have good talks in the shower. Dean keeps his back towards Aaron, hiding his semi, and feeling guilty for thinking about his Alpha with his husband standing so close.</p>
<p>“Well, you went off birth control years ago. It's about time you went off suppressants, that shit is terrible for you. I swear, it gives you headaches and makes you nauseous when you are supposed to be in heat,” Aaron sighs, concern etched in his face, “How do you feel about going off suppressants?”</p>
<p>“I’ll be fine,” Dean answers shortly.</p>
<p>“I won’t be able to keep up with your heats,” Aaron mentions, blush spreading behind his beard. His downturned brown eyes are hesitant to meet Dean’s fully. He’s left his glasses on the bathroom vanity.</p>
<p>Dean shrugs and looks over his shoulder at the slightly shorter man, “It’ll be fine, I’ll just buy a few sex toys and we’ll call it good,” Dean replies casually.</p>
<p>“Did he say anything else?”</p>
<p>“Nah,” Dean lies thinking about his false pregnancy, “Everything is all good.”</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>But everything was definitely not good when his heat hit the following week. He’s so far from good, in fact, he’s shaking, sweating, slicking disaster. His brain is a jumbled mess and he feels very light-headed, his body is crying out for his Alpha still. Aaron’s hold on his hips is a poor replacement but it is the only thing grounding him right now, though his husband could be holding him a little tighter. Aaron’s erection is practically swimming in his slick. There’s no friction to be felt without an Alpha’s much larger cock and a knot buried within him. Dean’s at the point where he’s so aroused that it’s dripping down the back of his thighs and pooling in the crevices of his knees. He’s frustrated, it’s only the first morning of his heat, and already wants more and despairs because he is unable to have it.</p>
<p>Dean can’t help thinking of his blue-eyed Alpha. How it would be so nice to be pressed up against his warm body, to be kissed and worshiped by those large hands, and be surrounded by his scent. His knot locking them together and filling Dean. <em>Breeding </em>him.  Dean can still smell the sunshine scent from the handkerchief, though it’s faint. He had tucked the fabric underneath his pillow, the shaky embroidered <em>CN </em>in blue hidden. He just wants his Alpha so <em>badly</em>.</p>
<p>Vision blurring and burning, a mix of sweat and tears, and Dean tries to blink his vision right.</p>
<p>“Dean,” Aaron pants behind him, “Dude, you close, yet?”</p>
<p>He isn't, Dean’s not even remotely being close. They’ve been playing sex Olympics for the past hour and he can tell Aaron is already wilting.</p>
<p>“No,” Dean replies, “Let's switch positions.”</p>
<p>“Alright,” Aaron guides Dean on his back to the edge of their bed, putting Dean’s legs over his shoulders so Aaron can stand while penetrating him. “You're really wet,” Aaron comments softly guiding his erection back into Dean’s slick hole. His face is a mixture of disgust and resignation as Dean drips onto the floor beneath them. Dean grunts in response to Aaron’s slow pace.</p>
<p>“You aren't normally this wet,” Aaron breathes, he’s running his hands down Dean’s bow legs and anchoring his hands on the meat of his thighs. It feels good, but again… not quite what Dean needs to really feel it. He tries to urge Aaron faster, but his husband stills his movements from exhaustion. Aaron’s body is blotchy red, his hair sticking up around his head, and plastered down at the same time. Dean’s been putting him through the paces already. He woke up at the crack of dawn and he knew by mid-morning he’d be unbearable. The jitters came first, then the sweating. Dean held out as long as he could until he asked Aaron to help, and Aaron has been a good sport about it so far… but it’s just not cutting it and they both know it.</p>
<p>“We are having heat sex, Aaron. I’m in heat. I’m slicking. So please, for the love of god, shut up and just fuck me,” Dean growls out, fisting the sheets underneath him.</p>
<p>“I’m just saying that maybe we should ask the doctor if this is normal. It’s your first heat in years-”</p>
<p>“Aaron, c’mon.”</p>
<p>“Dean, I’m just concerned,” Aaron says, pulling out and gesturing to his own thighs and the floor beneath them, “This can’t be normal. You seem to be just oozing slick nonstop,” Aaron exasperates. He steps back and pulls on his glasses to look up whatever on his phone. Aaron’s erection is wilting before Dean’s eyes. Well… there’s that then. Aaron must be turned off by too much lubrication. <em>Son of a bitch. </em></p>
<p>“Maybe I should spend my heat alone then,” Dean says bitterly. He drags his palms across his face and flops them back onto their bed.</p>
<p>“I mean, you can or I can help you use a toy,” Aaron shrugs his shoulders, “Google says it's normal for you to slick so much during ovulation.”</p>
<p>“<em>Thank you, fucking Google,</em>” Dean groans, feeling ridiculous and frustrated at the whole situation.</p>
<p>“Want me to get a toy?” Aaron asks. Dean can feel him standing close by.</p>
<p>“No, I’ll get it,” Dean grouches, pushing himself up clumsily to sitting. He’s really dizzy but he can get his own freaking sex toy.</p>
<p>“Alright, I’m going to clean up a little,” Aaron calls while he goes into their ensuite bathroom.</p>
<p>“Yeah, whatever,” Dean mumbles unhappily. His vision is swimming but he pushes off the bed. Before he knows it, his feet are crumbling out from underneath him and there is a sickening crack before all is black.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean wakes to the sound of beeping, scratchy sheets, and the pungent aromas of sanitizing cleanser. <em>Hospital.</em> His mind supplies and he groans unhappily. A twinge in his temple makes him groan again.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Aaron’s voice sounds from the corner of the room and Dean blearily cracks his eyes to look at him. He can feel Aaron move to the side of his bed, his voice closer, “You fell, bumped your head, and have been out for five days. The doctors kept you sedated for your heat to pass. You were dehydrated too.”</p>
<p>“Concussion?” Dean croaks.</p>
<p>“Yeah, concussion and a few stitches.”</p>
<p>“What about work? I have to go back to school,” Dean groans.</p>
<p>“I talked with your principal, she called when you missed a staff meeting. But don’t worry, Charlie will catch you up,” Aaron says quietly, pushing back Dean’s hair from his forehead.</p>
<p>“I have to decorate my room,” Dean basically whines, as a teacher this was his week to get everything done. He has his alphabet he needs to glue to his wall and welcome to school bags to assemble. He doesn’t have time for a concussion!</p>
<p>“Charlie says she’s handling it,” Aaron replies easily, “You just need to focus on getting better.” With a soft kiss to his head, Aaron moves away, back to the guest chair and Dean closes his eyes to avoid any more conversation.</p>
<p>Dean takes stock. He still feels sick, and as dizzy as he was before the blackout. He thinks maybe it’s a side effect of the concussion. Dean allows himself to sink further into the pillows, his head feeling heavy as he lets his thoughts run riot. His first heat in fifteen years was a shitshow. He’s in the hospital and can’t decide whether to be embarrassed or feel sorry for himself.</p>
<p>Dean’s dream baby crosses his mind, it serves him right. He never should have let that dream become a waking thought. His body is just wrong, too slick, too… <em>Omega. </em>He should have stayed on the suppressants and birth control. He doesn’t deserve a baby.</p>
<p>As these thoughts drift through Dean’s mind in turbulent waves, the overwhelming feeling is a deep yearning for his Blue-Eyed Alpha. He would understand, he would help.</p>
<p>Dean rolls to face the wall and great, now he feels guilty. Why can’t he just accept the life he was given instead of always wanting something else? Hot tears run down his face as he resigns himself to a life without <em>CN</em> in it, and the possibility that this is all there is for him. This is all he deserves.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day is a complete shit show. Literally and figuratively from the first bell to related arts. He’s had kids sobbing while being dropped off, Marshal and Annie pooping in their underwear instead of going to the bathroom, and then James throwing chairs at other students. Dean’s classroom smells like feces, industrial hormonal scent blockers to combat child distress, and the coffee he spilled all down his front this morning. Charlie, bless her, is trying to be a good cheerleader and pick Dean’s spirits up off the floor…but the damage is done, the coffee has already soaked into his sock.</p><p>Dean is just so thankful to be dropping his kids off at related arts. A forty-five-minute break to just sit in his room with his head on his desk. The kids are always a little wild at the start of the year. The new situations and the new routine causes a little bit of chaos. They are especially wild since they had a substitute for a week before he could be cleared to come back to work.</p><p>They have art today and Dean hopes that the new art teacher does not ascribe to the ideology that glitter belongs on every piece of art. He doesn’t want to find the craft world’s STI in places he doesn’t want it to be. Dean hasn’t had the time to meet the new teacher Novak, due to him flying by the seat of his pants to catch up, though Charlie was kind enough to let Dean know that he is “dreamy.”</p><p>“And thank you Kennedy for walking so straight and quiet in line, you are doing such a good job keeping your hands to yourself,” Dean praises, walking backward and looking at the little pups. They all fall in line, little eager faces emulating Kennedy, and so he continues to praise them all, “Thank you, Marshal, Annie, James, Robby, Will, you guys are doing so well keeping your hands to yourself. And Felicia, Ronnie, Sarah, Amber, look how straight you all are walking! And so quiet too! John, Jared, and Alex, gosh you guys are also doing so well. You guys must be the quietest class going to art. Mr. Novak won’t even know we are here for art class.” </p><p>There are some giggles from his class and some of his kids are pointing to what he presumes is the art teacher standing behind him.</p><p>“Ssshhhh,” Dean teases, putting his finger to his lips, “We have to be quiet in the halls until we get right inside Mr. Novak’s classroom.”</p><p>Bumping into said art teacher wasn’t his plan, and his students let out raucous giggles but then are quick to stop once he shushes them again. They file neatly into the room while Dean turns and apologizes.</p><p>“Sorry-” The words catch in his throat. <em>His Alpha</em>.</p><p>Dean’s thoughts are racing and his emotions veering between elation and terror, he cannot believe his Alpha is here. He wants to cry with happiness and throw himself at this man right here on school property. Dean also wants to run the other way and sob in his classroom. </p><p>“Mr. Winchester,” the Alpha chokes out, appearing just as shocked as Dean.</p><p>The two men stand in shock, staring at each other. His beautiful Alpha is wearing a patchwork apron over his work clothes. His Alpha is so smart, the apron is so smart… kids are so messy. He can’t scent his Alpha, the blockers they are both wearing hinder that but in Dean’s mind, sweet sunshine rolls off of him in waves. His hair is just as wild as before and his eyes so blue and wide that Dean feels like he could drown in them. The cacophony of noise from the children is an apt backing track to Dean’s heart leaping right out of his chest. Novak recovers faster than Dean, the sound of a full box of crayons hitting the floor spurring him into action.</p><p>“Please pick that up,” he commands quickly, moving away from Dean and into his classroom to shut the door.</p><p>Dean stands in the middle of the hallway, completely flabbergasted. On Autopilot, he goes back to his classroom.</p><p>“Whoah, you ok? Did someone poop their pants again?” Charlie asks, stopping her task of putting his newsletter into the kid’s folders.</p><p>“Alpha…” Dean trails absentmindedly, dropping himself into his chair.</p><p>“Novak?”</p><p>“Yeah…” Dean mumbles, dropping his face into his hands and letting out a distressed groan.</p><p>“Dreamy? Isn’t he?” Charlie teases, pulling up a little kid chair to sit right at Dean’s knees. She pulls Dean’s hands away from his face and peers into his eyes. Charlie is like a sister to Dean, she’s what gets him through the school day and has for the past twelve years. The Beta is beyond just an assistant, she’s his confidant.</p><p>Dean lets out a hysterical laugh, borderline sob, “He’s my Alpha.”</p><p>Charlie, ever wonderful and with the patience of a Saint doesn’t ridicule Dean,  “How do you know that?”</p><p>“I met him before, in the stupid fucking personal aisle of the grocery store. I was buying Aaron deodorant and I just… well… he just rescued me,” Dean laments, “I… thought I was pregnant. So I went to the doctor. Found out I wasn’t pregnant. And then… I met him.”</p><p>“In the personal aisle of the grocery store,” Charlie states, nodding along to Dean’s half story.</p><p>“<em>Yes</em>.”</p><p>“Did you guys fuck in the personal aisle of the grocery store?” Charlie asks, rubbing his hand soothingly, though her eyes are filled with impish delight.</p><p>“<em>Holy fucking shit, Charlie!</em> No! I’m married, remember?” Dean explodes, standing up and pacing.</p><p>“You just walked away from each other? Condemned yourselves to a mediocre life knowing your Prince Charming is out there? What kind of Disney princess are you, Rapunzel!" Charlie asks, stalking after Dean while he paces around his room. Picking up an errant crayon here and there.</p><p>“Yes,” Dean hisses, “He saw my wedding band and practically ran the other way.”</p><p>“Oh, honey,” Charlie laments, “You aren’t really married. That’s just an arrangement to get good insurance because ours is so shitty.”</p><p>Dean scoffs angrily, “Well, let me just inform Aaron then. So glad I got my wisdom teeth out already, I heard it’s a bitch without good dental.”</p><p>“Ok. You know we always agree to disagree about your sham of a marriage. I’m going to let that go, so let’s circle back to something… you thought you had a bun in the oven?” Charlie says patiently, sitting on Dean’s desk pulling a mint from his candy jar and popping it into her mouth.</p><p>Swallowing thickly, “I did. I had the symptoms, went to go get checked. It was just side effects.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you call me?”</p><p>Vulnerable and fully irate, Dean can’t stop himself while he lashes out, “Gee Charlie, let’s see… I was embarrassed? What was I supposed to say? I had worked myself up thinking I was going to <em>finally </em>have a baby and then had my dreams dashed? That I cried in a grocery store and had a complete Alpha stranger comfort me? Oh and by the way I’m pretty sure he is meant to be my Alpha true mate but we can’t be together because of what you call my <em>“sham marriage.”</em> Also, when should I have called you? During my crappy heat or during my concussion?”</p><p>Charlie sighs deeply, the mint clicking on her teeth and she moves angrily to stuff folders. They do their chores in angry silence until Dean breaks. He’s not really angry at Charlie.</p><p>“Sorry, Charles. I’m an ass,” Dean mutters and pulls her into a hug.</p><p>“You are, but I love you regardless,” Charlie responds hugging him tightly. They hold on to each other tightly, taking comfort with the familiarity of each other’s bodies until Charlie mumbles into his chest,  “What are you going to do about Novak?”</p><p>Resting his cheek on the top of Charlie’s brilliant red hair, “I have no clue.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>He’s pretty sure Castiel Novak is actively avoiding him. Dean’s heart tries to tell him that his Alpha is just building up the confidence to come to talk to him, but Dean’s brain says that the <em>son of a bitch </em>is just plain avoiding him. Castiel has been acting skittish, sending him sad, guilty looks, and darting the other way whenever he sees Dean. After two weeks, Dean’s anticipation for Castiel to shake off his shyness and come and talk to him is wearing him down and Dean loses the last remaining pieces of his patience. He doesn’t know what to do about his Alpha, but he’s not going to let the man avoid him. Screw Omega stereotypes. Every time Castiel darts the other way it adds fuel to Dean’s ire, not to mention the sting of rejection.</p><p>He corners the alpha in the mailroom, promptly shutting the door behind him.</p><p>“You are avoiding me, <em>Castiel,</em>” Dean snaps, crossing his arms and blocking the door. That’s another thing, he had to learn his Alpha’s name from his bio on the school’s website.</p><p>Castiel looks startled, caught like a spooked deer in front of headlights. He watches as Castiel licks his lips slowly, eyeing Dean. He can feel Castiel’s gaze, almost as if he’s reaching out and touching him with his eyes. Those blue eyes track slowly down his face, over his body, and the quickly averting to stare at the rows of mail cubbies. The Alpha makes his body smaller, curling into himself. “I’m sorry, Dean. I thought it was for the best,” Castiel responds, reproachfully, “I was doing it for you.”</p><p>“Typical Alpha, thinking you can make decisions for me,” Dean scoffs angrily.</p><p>“I’m not,” Castiel protests, his gaze snapping up and eyes pleading, “I… I just didn’t want to add stress to your life.”</p><p>“You <em>rejecting</em> me has added stress,” Dean snaps. He hasn’t been able to sleep. He’s been on edge, waiting for Castiel to reach out to him. Every night, he stares at the stupid goofy photo on the school’s website. His eyes memorizing that carefree smile, eyes shining and nose crinkled in a photo.</p><p>Castiel makes a soft whining noise in his throat, “I’m not rejecting you. I’m just… I’m-”</p><p>“Avoiding me,” Dean finishes.</p><p>Sighing, Castiel nods. Scrubbing his hands down his face, he groans and leans up against the mail cubbies. Every inch of him is bleeding exhaustion, when he drops his hands Dean gets a good look at his Alpha’s face. Dark smudges of exhaustion surround those diamond blue eyes. His mouth is grim, turned down. They gaze at each other, Dean knowing that Castiel is seeing the same visage reflected back.</p><p>“I’ve been avoiding you,” he finally breathes out, ending the heavy silence between the two of them.</p><p>“Why?” Dean practically cries out, going to his tired Alpha and standing so close that they are almost touching. Castiel holds his hands out, stopping Dean from embracing him. His Omega is devastated, his Alpha doesn’t want to take comfort from him. It stings, but Dean won’t give in and run the other way.</p><p>His breath shuddering, “You are married, Dean.” He says quietly.</p><p>“Then be my friend,” Dean pleads. At this point he is willing to settle for anything, “I can’t live with you ignoring me.”</p><p>Swallowing audibly, defeated and so very tired, Castiel admits, “I can’t live with ignoring you either.”</p><p>“We can be friends,” Dean earnestly states, confidence wavering, “I… I’ve heard of true mates being friends.”</p><p>“Is that what we are?” Castiel questions more to himself, “I guess that would explain the profound bond and undeniable pull between us.”</p><p>Dean just stands there, watching Castiel’s musing. They both know that Dean’s lying, <em>true mates </em>is a magical phenomenon within itself. The majority of the population thinks it’s an old wives’ tale, but Dean doesn’t know how else to describe what’s attracting him to Castiel. He feels untethered without the Alpha in front of him, a balloon floating aimlessly in the wind waiting to pop. Dean watches Castiel's fingers tracing the names on the cubbies mindlessly. Long fingers, beautiful fingers. His Alpha’s hands are gorgeous.</p><p>“I think… yes, I think I can be friends with you,” Castiel slowly states. He looks unsure like Dean can’t be trusted and he won’t make eye contact directly with Dean. Dean ducks down to meet his eyes, the reluctant blue finally meeting his own gaze.</p><p>“There you are,” Dean says, nodding in satisfaction.</p><p>“Here I am,” Castiel sighs as he finally relaxes, the tension slowly bleeding from his body.</p><p>“So,” Dean chirps with a cheeky smile and sticking out his hand, “My name is Dean Winchester, I teach Kindergarten. I think I’ve seen you around here, and you are?”</p><p>“Castiel Novak, I am the new art teacher here,” Castiel laughs sadly and shakes Dean’s hand.</p><p>“Nice, how are you liking it?”</p><p>“Well,” Castiel smiles, “I like it much better now.”</p><p>The two smile goofily at each other until Becky Rosen, an office secretary, opens the door to peer in. Castiel drops his hand, but his smile stays on his face. Dean can’t stop himself from smiling the rest of the day and all the way home, he feels like he’s conquered the world.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>It’s easy being a friend to Cas, he’s funny as hell. Dry, witty, and dare Dean say it… very sassy. They discuss inconsequential things; movies, books, the weather, students, and teaching. Dean learns that Castiel is a recently retired Air Force Officer, that he signed up right on eighteen, did his twenty years, and that teaching art is his second career. This year is his first teaching after retraining. Cas admits to greatly enjoying the routine and whimsy of teaching art in an elementary school as contrasted with the regimental and responsible life of a career military man. Learning new things about Cas makes Dean crave more of Cas’ time. The limited time they spend together is never quite enough.</p><p>Usually, they have a quick lunch in the break room, and to Dean’s dismay, Cas usually packs a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He seems to enjoy the sweet and savory sandwich but occasionally laments that he’s usually starving by the end of the school day.</p><p>Before Dean even knows what he’s doing, he’s making more food the night before and packing an extra container for his Alpha. Aaron thankfully doesn’t comment, but Charlie gives him a pointed look regarding the extra container.</p><p>His Alpha is tucked away in the corner of the break room, a novel propped up and a peanut butter sandwich already half consumed. He’s wearing a chambray shirt with khakis today and Dean decides he looks absolutely adorable. Cas’ has paint smudges on his forehead and the paint is smeared into his messy bangs.</p><p>“Painting today?” Dean questions, sitting down and pulling out the two containers. He feels like his heart is going to burst and he knows he’s got a slight blush betraying his feelings as he sets one of the Tupperware containers in front of Castiel.</p><p>“Fifth grade, self-portraits,” Cas answers with a soft smile. He points to the spare container with an amused look, “Are you extra hungry today, Dean?”</p><p>“No, that’s for you. Grilled chicken with a Mediterranean orzo salad,” Dean answers, pulling a fork out of his lunch bag and handing it to Cas, “Grown men can’t survive on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, no matter how much they love them.”</p><p>"You shouldn’t have!” Cas protests but the argument dies on his lips as soon as Dean open’s his own and digs in. It smells awesome and Dean knows it tastes good, it’s a dish he always makes for Sam when the kid visits from California.</p><p>“I wanted to,” Dean states, taking a long pull from his water bottle, “I didn’t like the idea of you starving by the end of the day. Don’t you cook?”</p><p>Blushing, Castiel shakes his head, “Uh no, I never learned how. My mother was really strict about gender roles growing up and I was mated young. I can make a few things, like spaghetti from a jar, but my brother Jimmy does the majority of our cooking now.”</p><p>“No leftovers?” Dean asks nonchalantly, though his heart is racing at the mention of having been mated young. Has he been naive all the time… Does Cas have a mate?</p><p>“Ugh no, my daughter Claire, she devours everything in sight, I swear that girl has three stomachs. Jimmy always cooks enough for about five people, thinking they’ll be enough food for leftovers but she just eats… I have never seen someone so tiny put away as much food as a grown man,” Cas laughs and takes a large bite, “Oh Dean, this is very good. Thank you.”</p><p>“You’re welcome,” Dean shrugs off and the two eat in companionable silence until the question bursts unbidden from him, “So you never learned to cook because you mated young? Your mate and brother take care of the cooking?”</p><p>Cas twirls the fork in his fingers and shakes his head, his eyes sad and voice hushed so other people can’t hear their conversation,  “My mate passed away about ten years ago when Claire was eleven. It’s just been me and her up until a few months ago. I was able to obtain guardianship of Jimmy from my mother just recently.”</p><p>“Omega?” Dean sighs and angrily stabs a cherry tomato with his fork. Some families still exercise archaic rights over their omega children, and it makes Dean think briefly of his own marriage.</p><p>Cas lets out a heavy sigh, “She had him declared incapable when we were just teenagers and put him away in an Omega psychiatric hospital. Initially, I fought for his freedom but… that was difficult, so I was forced to change tactics. I took her to court to fight over his guardianship.”</p><p>“He’s free now, though,” Dean says quietly, reaching out and touching the back of Cas’ hand to comfort him. The Alpha pulls his hand away and places it under the table, looking even more guilty and sad than before.</p><p>“Doesn’t erase the decades he spent as a prisoner,” Cas says quietly, pushing his food around with his fork and looking guilty. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up such a melancholy topic during our lunch.”</p><p>“No apologies necessary, Alpha, I… I like learning about you,” Dean says with a soft smile and a half-hearted shrug, “Not every part of our lives is sunshine and roses. You met me on one of the worst days I’ve had in a long time.”</p><p>Castiel stares intently into Dean’s eyes, “You had received distressing news that day.”</p><p>Taking the finishing bites of his food, the loud snaps of his lid punctuate the silence between the two men. Dean watches Castiel slowly eat the rest of his lunch, accepting that Dean may not answer his statement. His Alpha is quiet, the topic of conversation weighing on both of them heavily. Cleaning his fork between his lips, Dean throws the Tupperware and fork back into his lunch box. Leveling Castiel with a long look.</p><p>“I found out I wasn’t pregnant that day,” Dean says with all the confidence he isn’t feeling.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Castiel says automatically, his whole body and if Dean could scent him, he imagines his scent would be projecting his empathy and sorrow for Dean. The table between them is the only thing stopping Castiel from gathering Dean up into the comfort of his arms. Blinking back tears, Dean waves a hand dismissively. He gathers his thoughts and notices the time, they only have ten minutes left for lunch. Their time together always goes by so fast and now he’s ruined their conversation with such depressing topics.</p><p>Sniffling and clearing his throat, “It’s alright. Not meant to be for me, I guess. Aaron always said he never wanted kids unless it was “the natural” way. He’s made it clear that he doesn’t want to do IVF, adopt, or even entertain the idea of donor insemination.” </p><p>His face morphing from open and caring to stony anger, Castiel growls out, “It seems that Aaron has a lot of opinions regarding your body and your decisions.”</p><p>“But it’s not just my body, my decision,” Dean protests, “It’s his life too. We’ve been together for seventeen years and I had agreed to those terms when we first married.”</p><p>“Obviously, you don’t agree anymore. You want children,” Cas growls low and deadly, “He doesn’t deserve you, Dean.”</p><p>Dean is torn. He wants to agree with his Alpha, but seventeen years of marriage to Aaron, seventeen years of support and friendship cannot just be tossed aside. Dean knows that Aaron means well and has been a good friend, he deserves loyalty from his husband.</p><p>“And I really don’t want to talk about Aaron and what I do and do not deserve,” Dean sighs, trying to be mindful of the other teachers around them.</p><p>Taken aback, Castiel shrinks away from Dean as if struck. Worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, Dean reins in his misplaced ire. Whoever said that Omegas were weak, meek creatures obviously hadn’t met him.</p><p>“Sorry, Cas, I… I just don’t want to talk about Aaron with you,” Dean admits in a low voice as he takes the container and fork from Cas’ hands, “I can’t, you know?”</p><p>“I understand,” Castiel replies, his eyes still angry on Dean’s behalf.</p><p>“It’s ok, Cas,” Dean tries to soothe his prickly Alpha, “I gotta go pick up my kiddos from the cafeteria. I’ll see you tomorrow?”</p><p>“Of course, Dean. I look forward to our lunches,” Castiel admits standing up and following Dean out of the break room. The Alpha reaches out and holds Dean’s hand, squeezing tightly before releasing him. Dean watches with a sad smile as the Alpha walks the opposite way, knowing that it won’t be the last time his marriage and Aaron will be a point of contention between them.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Dean is admitted to the hospital again when his heat hits him in late November. The nurses tell Dean, while Aaron and Charlie are out of the room, that he’s exhibiting the symptoms of both pining sickness and severe dehydration. He feels beyond crummy like he’s got the worse case of the flu, but vomiting, sobbing, and lying on a bathroom floor for twenty-four hours straight will do that to a man. He can’t bear Aaron touching him. His husband’s touch, scent, and presence have become revolting to Dean.</p><p>It’s the worst four days he’s had in a very long time.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The 100th Day of school falls on a cold blustery Tuesday in February this year, so Dean plans his 100th day of School party for teachers the following Saturday night. (Friday nights are always reserved for going home, immediately changing into his pajamas, and falling asleep on the couch by seven only to get back up at nine to go to bed properly.)  It’s a big shindig every year, with teacher friends from the local middle and high school showing up too. The house is always bursting at the seams with teachers and alcohol.</p><p>Aaron usually goes out with his own work friends whenever Dean plans to hang out with his teacher friends, which leaves the house to Dean and those who decide to stay the night, but this year he decides to stay home and help Dean host. Charlie, his usual co-host, has long standing dibs on one of his spare bedrooms.</p><p>Dumping chips into a bowl, Charlie communicates with rolling eyes her dismay that Aaron has decided to stick around. Dean feels guilty, Charlie is usually the person Dean bitches about Aaron too and so she knows all the crap about their marriage. She’s the one that had to rush him to the hospital because he wouldn’t let Aaron touch him. She’s the one that stayed after visiting hours, crawling into his hospital bed to hold him while he cried. Charlie’s loyalty is to Dean and to Dean alone. Her predisposition to dislike Aaron is so ingrained in her, Dean thinks Aaron could perform heavenly miracles and Charlie would still dislike him.</p><p>“I don’t know why we can’t just use the fridge,” Aaron complains, “We could make plenty of room.”</p><p>“It’s tradition to put all the beer and ice in the washing machine,” Charlie grinds out.</p><p>“Yeah, but it’s just kinda weird. People traipsing in and out of our laundry room?” Aaron questions.</p><p>“It’s just tradition, Aaron, we’ve done it that way ever since I started these parties with Charlie,” Dean says ending the conversation between the two. He’s worked damn hard for tonight, he’s not going to argue about where to put Benny’s beer or listen to the two of them squabble about it either.</p><p>The whole house is spotless and ready to go. Dean’s just waiting on a few people. He has anxiously cleaned for three days, knowing Cas was coming tonight. He doesn’t know how many times he can fidget with things… but he’s cleared space for Balt’s liquor and Gabe’s mixers on his island. He’s got mountains of chips, different kinds of dips, and desserts spread across every inch of counter space.</p><p>“Hello cher,” the Louisiana drawl along with the clink of bottles alerts the arrival of Benny who has let himself into the house. The comforting spicy scent of the Alpha fills the room. Benny makes a beeline for the laundry room with his dolly full of beer boxes and ice bags. “Next year, we are getting a keg!” he calls out from the laundry room.</p><p>“Benny, man, you say that every damn time,” Dean laughs and pops his head into the laundry, “Where’s Andrea?”</p><p>“Home, sick as a dog. She told me to have fun and drink at least seven of Gabe’s blue drinks for her,” Benny answers shaking his head, “I swear, everyone told us that she’d stop puking her guts out during the second trimester but it’s going on seven months and she’s sick all day and every day. Yesterday, she told me that my breath was making her nauseous.”</p><p>“Whatcha eat?” Charlie asks, skirting around Dean and opening the beer boxes to go into the ice.</p><p>“Well, I had Philly cheesesteak. Probably was the onions that set her off,” Benny admits with a sheepish grin.</p><p>Aaron looks like he’s being sidelined as Dean’s friends make their way through the house with the ease of familiarity. Dean feels bad for his husband and he has every intention of introducing Aaron to Benny but Aaron is once again forgotten as Dean is interrupted by the front door slamming open.</p><p>“Honey, I’m home!” Shouts Gabe, arms laden with bags of juices and sodas. Trailing behind him is Balt, holding a large milk crate full of different kinds of liquor. The two of them shuck their coats off and throw them on the floor where they stand. Gabe is quick to establish his domain in the kitchen, unloading his things and digging into the Redvines that Dean buys for him. He’s got two shoved into his mouth and he’s bopping along to the music playing quietly on the kitchen’s radio. He’ll play bartender tonight along with Balthazar.</p><p>“Hello, Deanie with the little weenie,” Balt teases after he disposes of his milk crate, quickly grabbing Dean’s face with both of his hands and giving him an obnoxiously loud kiss on the lips.</p><p>“Blech!” Dean cries out and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand grumbling, “Fuck you man, I don’t have a small dick.”</p><p>“Darling, you always say that,” the other Omega teases in his British intonation, “But you never deliver. I fuck you, you fuck me, and then we both go home happy tonight.”</p><p>“He is home and he’s definitely not gonna fuck you, <em>couyan</em>,” Benny shouts from the laundry room.</p><p>“Don’t be jealous darling, you can watch!” Balt shouts back at Benny.</p><p>Feeling the weight of Aaron’s eyes, Dean clears his throat, “Hey guys, this is Aaron. Aaron, this is Benny Lafitte, Balthazar Roche, and Gabriel Milton. They work at the high school, Charlie and I met them at a district training. Benny teaches ecology, Balt’s English, and Gabe is their Assistant Principal.”</p><p>The men all wave hello and Aaron is quickly roped in as Gabriel’s assistant. They are pulling out Dean’s punch bowls and making drinks. Dean tries to assist, but Gabriel eventually shoos him away. He’s been coming into Dean’s kitchen, making himself at home for the past six years. Dean picks up their coats and hangs them up in the closet.</p><p>“Oooh, flowers,” Gabe chirps, gesturing with a Redvine behind Dean to the living room.</p><p>It’s Cas. His Alpha holding a bouquet of flowers standing a little awkwardly in the doorway between the two rooms. Dean can’t stop his face from lighting up just seeing Castiel in his home. His Alpha is so handsome and Dean is so unbelievably happy just seeing him outside of school. Although they text constantly, it is not the same as spending time together. Moving quickly, Dean gives Cas a hug and makes sure to pat his Alpha on the back to make it more manly. A hug between bros.</p><p>Sunshine and fresh air fill his senses smelling like home and <em>mine</em>. His Alpha smells so good, like temptation itself. Dean tears himself away before he presses his nose against Castiel’s scent gland in front of all his friends.</p><p>“I apologize, I saw that the others let themselves in,” Cas stammers out, a slight blush on his cheeks as he hands over the flowers, “Jimmy insisted that I couldn’t come empty-handed.”</p><p>“Thank you, Cas,” Dean says, and he ushers Castiel further into the kitchen, “Guys, this is Cas. Cas, this is Gabe, Benny, Balthazar, and Aaron.”</p><p>Searching for a vase, ignoring the conversation around him, Dean peers down at the flowers in his hand. Peonies of all colors and eucalyptus leaf for the greenery. Apparently, Jimmy knows how to pick out a beautiful arrangement. Over the past seven months, they’ve talked about Jimmy and the rest of Castiel’s family at length and Dean feels like he knows his Alpha’s twin pretty well.  He also feels like he knows Castiel pretty well too.</p><p>“I’d like to meet Jimmy and maybe Claire someday soon?” Dean comments, pulling out his crystal led vase from the back of his cupboards.</p><p>“They would like to meet you,” Cas softly says, staying very close to Dean and following him around the kitchen. Cas only has eyes for Dean, which pleases Dean’s Omega.</p><p>“Put those in your room,” Charlie whispers into his ear while Dean is cutting the stems and arranging them into the vase. She has an impish look to her face and Dean can’t help but smother his own smile.</p><p>“Let me give you the grand tour, Cas,” Dean says, gathering up the vase and gesturing to the rooms while he shows the house off to Castiel. Bathrooms, extra bedrooms, and finally his room. Dean pushes into his bedroom, placing the flowers on his dresser, “My room.”</p><p>“It smells like you,” Castiel murmurs, breathing deeply, “You don’t share this space.”</p><p>A little embarrassed and flustered, Dean mumbles, “Uh no, not anymore. Not since my last heat.”</p><p>“You have a beautiful home,” Cas blurts and Dean knows that Castiel feels just as awkward as he does.</p><p>Laughing, Dean replies, “Thanks.”</p><p>The two of them stand awkwardly in his bedroom. The tension is so thick that it’s pressing into Dean’s skin. A part of him, his base Omega instincts, wants to strip and present for Castiel right here and now. He so badly wants his Alpha, being able to scent him here in his own intimate space is almost overwhelming after months of platonic friendship.</p><p>Dean clears his throat and twists his hands nervously, “Cas… Alpha, you are still wearing your coat. Here, let me take it.”</p><p>“Explains why I’m so warm,” Cas laughs awkwardly at his own expense and Dean lets out a dry laugh along with him. Dean helps him out of the thickly lined trench coat, standing so close that the heat from Cas’ body makes him dizzy with pleasure. Dean throws the coat and scarf onto his bed, and motions for the two to rejoin the party.</p><p>“Dean,” Castiel whispers, “I…”</p><p>“I know,” Dean says, patting his back and grasping his shoulder. The two move back to the party quietly and go separate ways.</p><p>Dean loses track of Castiel once the guests start arriving. Drinks are poured, games are played, and people shout over Charlie’s carefully crafted playlist. He’s tipsy, needs to piss, and a little overwhelmed by the number of people that are crushed into his home. Everyone is having a good time, people shout at him <em>“Great party!”</em> whenever they greet him. Even Aaron is fitting right in with a group of teachers from the local high school, so Dean ducks into his ensuite bathroom to gather himself. He’s exhausted, waiting on these people to leave his home.</p><p>Dean has the idea to throw himself on his bed and close his eyes for a second or two, it is two in the morning... until he sees Castiel sitting on the edge of his bed with his coat and scarf gathered in his lap.</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>“Dean,” Castiel breathes, face unguarded and so open and just so pleased to see Dean standing there that Dean feels like he could melt into a puddle of goo. “I was getting ready to head out, Jimmy should be here soon to pick me up,” Castiel says, holding up his coat and scarf as if to show Dean his intent. Dean nods, taking the jacket and scarf, placing them back on the bed next to Cas.</p><p>Later, Dean will blame the alcohol for what he does, but in the moment he has no regrets as he leans down and presses his lips against Castiel’s. Dean is all pleasure as he cards his fingers through Castiel’s hair and tugs lightly, eliciting a moan of pleasure from his Alpha. His Alpha’s scent blooms and Dean drowns himself in the feeling of Castiel. His Alpha is quick to wrap his arms around Dean and pulls him into his lap. His arms anchoring Dean and his hands exploring.</p><p>Clumsy, passionate, desperate kisses are exchanged. Dean presses Castiel into the bed and with a show of delicious Alpha strength, Cas effortlessly flips them. Dean moans loudly, <em>Alpha, and please </em>whispers from his lips. He’s loving the warm and heavy weight of Castiel’s body against his and the ferocity of Castiel’s kisses. Cas kisses Dean like a man who only needs Dean to survive. His Alpha worships him with his lips and tongue. Pulling away and nipping at his jaw, Dean takes the opportunity to scent mark Castiel. Swipes of his tongue and pulls of his teeth along Castiel’s scent gland. In his tipsy stupor, Dean is thrilled in marking his Alpha as his and he doesn’t give a fuck who knows.</p><p>“<em>My omega</em>,” Castiel growls, his voice, deep with desire and tinged with Alpha red.</p><p>“Yours,” Dean pants out, pulling Castiel back down for another kiss, “Only yours.”</p><p>A trill of a phone startles them as it breaks through the atmosphere of the room. It stops and starts again. Over and over the annoying trill goes off, pulling Dean out of the haze of lust.</p><p>“Cas, is that your phone?”</p><p>Nuzzling Dean’s scent gland and pressing a kiss to it, Castiel stills. Reaching into his pocket and checking his phone, he let outs a heavy sigh.</p><p>“I’ve got to go,” his voice laced with despair. He presses a sweet chaste kiss to Dean’s lips and then another. Soon, the chaste kisses dissolve once more into tongue, teeth, and urgent lips. Dean’s legs are wrapped around his Alpha, one of Castiel’s hands is massaging the base of his thighs. Feeling his Alpha’s long fingers pulling on his ass is increasing Dean’s urgent desire to be filled. Dean is brimming with need, feeling the evidence of Castiel’s arousal against him so intimately is delicious. Pulling on his Alpha’s belt buckle, Dean can feel himself leaking slick.</p><p>“CAS!” A knock on the door spurs Castiel to leap from Dean’s body like he’s been electrocuted. It’s Charlie, shouting through the door and over the music, “Your brother is here!”</p><p>Frozen, Castiel looks to Dean.</p><p>“Alpha, you should go,” Dean says, pushing his jacket into Cas’ arms. Charlie’s call has caused realization to wash over him like a bucket of cold water. He should never have let things get so out of hand. He hates himself now and his decision to do the “right thing” by Aaron. He should have never let that kiss get that far. He should never have led the Alpha on.</p><p>Wide-eyed, mussed up, and, from what Dean can see, still sporting a raging erection, Castiel hastily puts on his coat. His eyes never leave Dean’s as if pleading with Dean to ask him to stay. Dean shakes his head and pushes Castiel out of his bedroom, a soft kiss on his cheek so his Alpha knows he’s not rejecting him. Castiel looks like a kicked puppy, but he makes his way from the house.</p><p>Dean throws himself back on the bed, palming his own erection and hiding the damp spot in the seat of his jeans from Charlie.</p><p>“Oh man,” Charlie coughs, “Smells like a bordello in here. What exactly did you and Prince Charming get up to in here, Rapunzel, huh?</p><p>“<em>Son of a bitch, </em>I’m so fucked.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel is visibly embarrassed and beyond bashful as Dean places his lunch in front of him. If Dean could scent him, guilt would be clouding the crisp air and tainting the smell of fresh earth. Dean had texted him yesterday, but Castiel hadn’t answered him. The Alpha won’t even meet his eyes until Dean practically stabs Castiel in the back of his hand with a fork.</p><p>“That was rude,” Castiel barks, pulling his hand quickly away.</p><p>“You’re rude,” Dean parrots back, pushing the lunch container and offering the offending fork closer to Castiel, “Eat your lunch, try not to worry so much.”</p><p>Castiel scoffs, opening the lid with angry, jerky motions. They have the break room to themselves and Dean made spaghetti ragu. Which he knows is one of Castiel’s favorites, he’s learned that the Alpha really loves Dean’s homemade sauce. Every move Castiel makes screams frustration, from pressing the microwave buttons to keeping Dean at arm’s length. Finally, Castiel calmly speaks, “We scent marked each other Saturday night, Dean. I think we have something to worry about.”</p><p>Looking heavenward, Dean lets out a large sigh of his own, “I’m not worried about that. Aaron can’t smell me and we wear blockers at work.”</p><p>Mouth dropping open, Castiel looks like he either wants to cry or scream.</p><p>“You cannot be serious,” Castiel deadpans.</p><p>“I am, the bond will eventually fade,” Dean murmurs, though he doesn’t want it to fade. He likes the idea of bonding to Castiel in some way.</p><p>“Dean,” Castiel pauses, physically steadying himself and tears of frustration welling in his eyes, “I have been suffering from a mild case of pining sickness ever since we met in the grocery store. I am doing my hardest to respect your marriage. I kept my attentions platonic and dare I say it, I’ve been a good friend. <em>You</em> kissed <em>me</em> Saturday night. <em>You came onto me.</em> And now you are trying to tell me that the bond will eventually fade? Why are you playing these games?”</p><p>“I don’t know what to say... I don’t know what to tell you,” whispers Dean, his voice barely audible even to his own ears.</p><p>“Tell me,” Castiel says reaching out and touching the side of Dean’s face, cupping his cheek so softly it brings tears to Dean’s eyes, “Tell me, that you want to be with me.”</p><p>“I’m…” Dean says slowly, “I don’t know what I want.”</p><p>He can’t say anything else. He can’t tell Castiel that he’s paralyzed with fear. Aaron is so familiar and secure, he’s loyal to Aaron because he’s known him for over half of his life. Aaron is the one who he goes home to when he’s had a rotten day at work. Aaron is the one who starts the coffee pot in the morning and serves Dean his first cup of coffee before he even gets out of bed. Aaron eats all the cherry tomatoes out of Dean’s salad. Aaron folds Dean’s socks and underwear and organizes all their closets. Dean doesn’t know how to exist without Aaron at this point even if he can’t stand his husband’s touch.  Stepping into the next chapter without Aaron, even thinking about leaving Aaron behind, terrifies Dean.</p><p>“Can I tell you what I want?” Castiel waits for Dean to nod, his thumb traces the bottom of Dean’s lip in a slow drag. He stares into Dean’s eyes, piercing his soul, and truly seeing him. Castiel's voice is so deep and hushed as he speaks, “I want a real mate. I want someone who actually wants me. Who wants to have my children, who is happy when I come home, and who craves my touch. I want to tumble into bed with someone and wake up the next day knowing that I get to spend every night that way for the rest of my days. I deserve those things and Dean, <em>my Omega</em>, you deserve those things too.”</p><p>Swallowing, Dean opens his mouth to respond and Castiel shakes his head and shushes him, “You think about it, Dean. I’ll be here, waiting for your answer. In the meantime, I think we need to spend some time apart. This is not fair on either of us.”</p><p>Castiel kisses his cheek so softly, so chastely, and with so much love that the feeling of his lips lingers for hours.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Castiel doesn’t take his lunches at the same time as Dean for the rest of the month. He doesn’t text Dean. He doesn’t even really look Dean’s way when they occasionally see each other at school. When Dean drops his kids off for art, Cas is the picture of professional courtesy.</p><p>Dean is dying on the inside. Between Castiel’s avoidance and Aaron’s distance at home, he feels so alone. It doesn’t even matter that he can’t be physical with Aaron anymore. Dean is so touch starved that he treats Charlie like a life preserver, keeping his head above water like she always does. Thankfully, Charlie keeps her running commentary about his predicament to a minimum. Charlie is Team Cas, wanting Dean to run off into the sunset with the Alpha and have his babies as soon as possible. Her fantasy sounds amazing, but the unknown strikes terror within him.</p><p>He calls Sam crying, a month into Cas’ silence, early Sunday morning. He’s on the verge of his heat, his hormones are a mess and he just wants someone familiar to wrap him up and tell him everything is going to be ok. He lays it all out for his brother, hoping the brilliant lawyer can sort through and decide for him.</p><p>“Dean, I can’t tell you what to do,” Sam says over the phone, his voice all compassion and love, “I know you are a strong person. You will get through this, you know you will. You escaped Dad and lived on Ramen noodles and crackers for practically a year out of spite. You even let me stay with you after Dad and I couldn’t stop fighting during high school up till college. Whatever life is throwing at you now… it’ll work out, just like it worked itself out back then.”</p><p>Sniffling, “Yeah, but I was with Aaron. Aaron and I got through that together.”</p><p>He hears Sam’s noise of disagreement even before he finishes his sentence, “No, Dean. You got through it. Aaron went home a lot to his parents. Aaron… Aaron was just your excuse for independence to get away from Dad. For a while, it was just you and me and I would definitely remember if Aaron was there when we tried to make Mom’s Winchester’s surprise on a hot plate.”</p><p>“Oh gawd, that smell practically lived in that mattress,” Dean laughs, his voice watery and croaky.</p><p>“Yeah. That mattress was disgusting, it definitely belonged in the garbage where you found it. But you know, I slept better on that mattress with you than I ever did in Dad’s house,” Sam admits softly, “You weren’t the only one that escaped. Dad, Dad did his best but you… you were my real parent, Dean. You were the person who loved and cared for me. You still do. That’s how I know you’ll get through this and get the life you deserve.”</p><p>“Such a sap,” Dean scoffs, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. He stares out into the parking lot of the grocery store, he escaped his house wanting a drive in the Impala. He ended up at the grocery store, he’s always at the freaking grocery store.</p><p>“Nah, you are,” Sam teases.</p><p>“Fuck, what time is it there?” Dean asks, noticing that it’s not even eight in the morning his time.</p><p>“Well Dean, now that you mention it… it’s just before five,” Sam says, “And I’m really tired, you ass.”</p><p>“Alright, get some sleep before your little brats wake you up. Jess included.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I’ll tell her you said that.”</p><p>“Love you, bitch.”</p><p>“I love you too, you big jerk. Next time check the freaking time.”</p><p>He laughs at his brother and hangs up. He does feel better, Sam always has that effect on him. Checking his appearance in the rearview mirror, Dean shrugs off the last of his poor mood. He looks fine, his eyes are a little red but he probably won’t run into anyone he knows. Deciding he’ll get donuts and the ingredients to make burgers from scratch tonight. He also needs to grab a few electrolyte drinks for his heat which should start tomorrow.</p><p>Popping the collar on his leather jacket against the bracing February wind, Dean practically runs into the store. Grabbing a basket, he moves around grabbing the ingredients for his burgers on autopilot. He knows where everything is in this store and is quick with his work. Deciding he probably should grab a tube of toothpaste, he ducks into aisle nine, and almost collides into someone’s back.</p><p>“Sorry,” Dean grunts. The offended party turns… and its Cas. Of course.</p><p>“Hello, Dean,” the Alpha says, with a twitch of his lips as a half-hearted smile. Castiel looks exhausted, a lot like when he was actively avoiding Dean all those months ago, but worse.</p><p>He looks broken.</p><p>“We meet again,” Dean awkwardly gestures to the aisle around them.</p><p>“Ah yes,” Castiel nods.</p><p>“Dad,” a female voice calls Castiel, “I couldn’t find what Daddy Jimmy wrote on the list. I think he honestly made it up. I don’t see this “Castile soap” anywhere.”</p><p>“Did you check the top shelf, in the corner? It’s peppermint here, blue label,” Castiel responds to the woman with the long blonde braided hair. Claire, Dean knows, but Dean is a little confused why she’s calling Jimmy, Daddy Jimmy.</p><p>“Who’s your friend?” She asks, pointedly, her eyes darting angrily at Dean like she already knows the answer.  </p><p>“Claire, this is Dean,” Cas supplies, “And now Claire, go find the soap and get bleach from the cleaning aisle.”</p><p>She huffs angrily but leaves, eyeing Dean with heated disdain.</p><p>“She doesn’t like me,” Dean word-vomits.</p><p>“No,” Castiel sighs, “She does not.”</p><p>“What did you say?”</p><p>“To my grown daughter? Not much. Jimmy sussed it out of me, but Claire is relentless and he doesn’t have the ability to say no to Claire, making up for lost time I guess.”</p><p>“Calls him “Daddy Jimmy” so they must be getting along?”</p><p>Castiel levels Dean a look of annoyance, but answers Dean in the same weary tone as before, “That is because Jimmy is Claire’s biological father, Dean. I mated Amelia when our mother found out she was expecting and had Jimmy committed. I promised him I would care for them.”</p><p>“I didn’t know, you never mentioned it before,” Dean utters, gobsmacked.</p><p>“Nobody outside of our family knows,” Castiel says, fiddling with his grocery cart. He smells anxious.</p><p>“I won’t say anything,” Dean says quickly, “I… thank you for sharing that.”</p><p>Castiel makes a noncommittal noise, deep gravelly sound that rumbles in his chest. Dean aches to hug him, to gather up his Alpha, and close out the world. Castiel’s anxiety seems to grow the longer the two men stand there in the personal aisle of the store. His scent is making Dean’s eyes water, it’s so miserable.</p><p>“How have you been?” Castiel hesitantly asks.</p><p>“Not good,” Dean admits readily, “I miss being your friend.”</p><p>“I do too, perhaps we can have lunch together tomorrow?” Castiel sounds so relieved and Dean hates disappointing him.</p><p>“I’ll be out this week, my uh, my heat starts tomorrow,” Dean admits, blushing.</p><p>“You're taking the entire week?” Castiel asks.</p><p>“Yeah, just in case… I’ve been ending up in the hospital for my heats. Better safe than sorry, you know? Principal Hanscum said she didn’t mind,” Dean clears his throat awkwardly, despite their intimate friendship they have avoided the topic of heats and ruts.</p><p>“You’ve been hospitalized?” Castiel’s bone-deep weariness has disappeared, replaced with distress and concern.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s really stupid… but ummm, I got dehydrated both times. Knocked my head good the first time, gave myself a concussion. Second time, I couldn’t keep anything down, so Charlie brought me in. It shouldn’t be that way this time around… I’ve got antiemetics now, should stop the vomiting.”</p><p>“I don’t understand, why are you so sick?” Castiel asks, his worried gaze never wavering from  Dean’s embarrassed visage.</p><p>“Docs explained it to me as a perfect storm, really it’s just a clusterfuck. I’ve been on suppressants and birth control since I was thirteen and I’m just now coming off of suppressants. Plus, the mild pining sickness,” Dean admits, feeling foolish.</p><p>Before Castiel can say anything in response, Dean shrugs and laughs it all off, “Going to grab my Pedialyte and hunker down. I’m going to try my damned hardest to avoid the hospital visit this time. Fool me twice and all that jazz.”</p><p>Their conversation is interrupted by Claire abruptly dumping several items noisily into the cart. “Our ice cream is melting Dad,” she declares loudly and rudely. Her face an angry scowl and arms crossed, Dean is thankful that her eyes do not possess the ability to kill.</p><p>Shaken out of their own intimate bubble of awareness, Castiel colors and bites his lip. He pulls Dean quickly into a hug, holding him tightly. “Please take care of yourself,” he whispers against Dean’s ear.</p><p>“Will do,” Dean breathes Castiel in, large lungfuls of<em> home and mine </em>to tide him over.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“You call Charlie?” Dean croaks out underneath the layers of blankets. Peeking out from beneath the blankets of his nest, he can see the outline of Aaron against the light from the hallway. He’s having the awful flu symptoms again, cold shakes, cramping, and nausea. He’s armed with Pedialyte and antiemetics, but his whole body is revolting against him. He hopes Aaron called Charlie, he could use some company. She would even snuggle with him, he’s not slicking just in pain. He aches and he can’t stop the tears that escape his eyes. He wants Cas, every cell in his body is crying out for his Alpha who is not there.</p><p>The uterine cramps alone feel like contractions, feel like he’s going to give birth at any moment. <em>If only.</em> The pain would be worth it if there was a baby at the end of it. A baby with Cas’ blue eyes and his childhood blonde hair. Dean can already imagine him, the kid would have the quirkiest personality and Dean would love him. He’d sing the Beatles songs as lullabies just like his own Mom.</p><p>A knife of all-encompassing despair cuts through him, making Dean whimper and retreat further under the blankets again.</p><p>“I didn’t call Charlie, but I did text one of your friends back,” Aaron hesitantly says coming closer to the bed, “They’ll be here soon.”</p><p>“Aaron,” Dean growls, “Tell me you didn’t text Benny. He’s got Andrea to worry about.”</p><p>“Uh no- I texted your friend Cas from your phone, asked if he could stop by,” Aaron admits and the doorbell rings.</p><p>“Aaron- what the…?”</p><p>Aaron drops his head and twists his hands together nervously, “Dean, I saw you and Cas at that party, I saw how he was with you, how you were with him.  If… if he doesn’t want to help, I’ll call a heat service,” Aaron says and disappears, leaving Dean shocked.</p><p>Heat service? Asking Cas to help? He can’t even comprehend what is going on. Aaron is making it sound like he’s ok with Dean having sex with Cas. With wobbly limbs, Dean digs himself out of his nest. Pulling on his flannel pajamas, he totters to the wall and braces himself. Already exhausted, pain almost bringing him to his knees, Dean makes it excruciatingly slowly down the hallway into their living room.</p><p>“Aaron!”</p><p>“He left, Dean,” Cas says quietly almost as if he appeared from thin air, making Dean jump out of his skin.</p><p>“He left?”</p><p>Looking as confused as Dean feels, Cas answers, “I had texted you. To see how you were doing today and I am guessing it was Aaron and not you that texted me back and asked for me to stop by after work. I thought that odd, but… I came by and Aaron asked me to stay. To care for you during your heat.”</p><p>“To care for me during my heat?”</p><p>“Yes, those were his exact words,” Cas replies incredulously, “and then he left like a pack of hellhounds were after him.”</p><p>Feeling overwhelmed, Dean begins to laugh hysterically. His husband of seventeen years has green-lighted a heat affair, he basically threw Cas at Dean and ran off. Cas stares on, completely perplexed while Dean wheezes, laughs, and tries to talk at the same time. Dean almost falls to the floor in hysterics, but Cas catches him.</p><p>“I don’t understand, Dean, I don’t know what I’m doing here,” Cas admits after he’s placed Dean on the couch to calm down.</p><p>“Aaron said he was going to call a heat service,” Dean replies, trying to be serious but he can’t wipe the grin off his face.</p><p>“A heat service?”</p><p>“Yes, if you didn’t stay Aaron was going to call up a service. Since meeting you, Aaron and I haven’t been having sex. Just that once during my first heat and it was fuckin’ awful. And now I can’t stand his touch, his scent, anything. That’s why I’ve ended up in the hospital with my heats.”</p><p>“Heat services are primarily for sex,” Cas exclaims, a little slow on the uptake. Dean sinks back into his couch, watching the thoughts visibly flicker over  Castiel’s face.</p><p>With his Alpha close, his pain is easing up and Dean feels like he’s slowly sinking into a warm bath of bliss. The muscles that were once coiled and pinched are slowly unraveling. His Alpha smells divine, still a little anxious, but his scent is doing wonders for Dean. He’s relaxing slowly as a new fire starts in his veins.</p><p>“Do you want to… umm, come and see my nest?” Dean asks shyly. Castiel is still at a loss for words, but he holds out a hand to pull Dean from the couch to stand.</p><p>Dean can feel his heat escalating, but it’s different now. He’s filled with desire and need rather than cramps and fever. It’s a heady feeling, and the scent of his Alpha is doing amazing things to him as the heat grows in the pit of his belly.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>There are no words between them as Dean, still holding Cas’ hand, guides him to the bedroom. Both men remember the last time they were here, making out like teenagers before they were caught.</p><p>“Alpha? You ok?” Dean feels bashful with Cas staring at his heat nest, he lets go of Cas’ hand and seats himself on the edge of the bed.</p><p>Dean sees Castiel heave a shuddering sigh, like a breath he had been holding too long, and he shifts over as the Alpha joins him on the bed. Cas’ scent is changing from anxiety and unease to desire and need, Dean is quickly engulfed in the heady aroma of sunshine on freshly turned earth as he turns to his Alpha. Cas cups Dean’s face gently in his warm hands and Dean’s Omega is putty in his hands.</p><p>As one they close in, connecting at first with a warm press of lips, before Castiel takes charge, demanding entrance into Dean’s mouth with his tongue. It’s not long before the men are gasping for breath and Dean is pulling at Cas’ clothes. Castiel’s button-up and his shaking hands thwarting Dean from the prize of Castiel’s skin. He lets out a whine of frustration.</p><p>“Shhh, my Omega,” Cas soothes. Castiel’s nimble fingers are quick with the buttons, shedding the shirt and revealing a smooth expanse of golden skin with powerful corded muscles underneath. Dean scoots farther into the nest, shoving blankets and pillows so he can recline and still reach Castiel. They kiss slowly, tantalizing, breathing each other in and their lips and tongues explore. Castiel nips and laves his tongue against the scruff of Dean’s jaw. Down his neck to suck hard against his scent gland. A burst of Castiel’s scent, heady with arousal, fills Dean’s senses. It makes him dizzy.</p><p>“Pants,” Dean tugs on his belt, his hands not quite cooperating.</p><p>“I’m getting there,” Cas laughs capturing his hands and placing them above Dean’s head, “Keep these here for a second.” He can only agree, keeping his hands where Castiel has placed them. He watches with hooded eyes as Cas shucks his pants, socks, and boxers quickly. His cock bouncing free and glistening at the tip. Dean bites his lip and squirms slightly, his fingers twitching to reach out and touch, he can feel his heat is reaching a fever pitch.</p><p>“Such a good Omega,” Castiel praises softly, his hands gently carding through his hair and dragging over Dean’s neck and bare pectorals.  Dean has never been called a Good Omega, he has never even considered that he might want to be, but it sounds so good coming from his Alpha, he warms with the praise feeling complete in a way he never has before. Thumbing his nipples, rolling them until Dean is gasping from sensitivity, and then dragging his fingertips down to the elastic of sodden pajama bottoms. “Let’s get these off of you,” Castiel hums, untying the drawstrings and rolling Dean’s bottoms down.</p><p>Dean watches as Castiel’s gaze begins to show hunger and arousal, Castiel’s hands massage the back of thighs. His fingertips digging into the meat of Dean’s muscles and the slick that has escaped. Dean’s hands loop around Cas’ neck, pulling the Alpha closer. Pressing kisses and little nips to his lips, Dean tries to urge Castiel on. The Alpha stills his movements, his eyes shutter closed, his lips parting as he breathes heavily.</p><p>“Cas?”</p><p>Breathing deeply, Castiel licks his lips slowly and opens his eyes, they are glowing Alpha red. “You are so wet, my beautiful Omega, and ready for me,” his voice is deep and rumbling, almost growling, “I want to savor you.”</p><p>A surprised gasp escapes Dean and Castiel, the predator that he is, smiles slowly his eyes hued with red, “You’d like that wouldn’t you, my sweet smelling Omega? I bet you even taste like honey.”</p><p>Swallowing audibly, Dean can only feel totally overwhelmed as he stares at the beautiful Alpha above him. Castiel is poised and holding himself coiled so tightly that Dean can’t help to marvel at the man. The tattoo of his heart feels so loud and the buzzing of his heat makes him feel like he’s going to unravel at the seams. He pulls on Cas’s skin, already damp from their sloppy making out and Dean can only imagine the restraint he’s exercising.</p><p>“I…Cas-”</p><p>Cas kisses him swiftly, lips and tongue devastatingly soothing and inflaming. Dean’s beyond teasing, the noises he’s emitting cannot be held back. The two men rock together, Castiel’s cock against his own feels amazing, spearing fire into his gut, but it’s not quite enough.</p><p>“How about,” Cas pants and kisses him in the middle of his sentence, “You can present or ride me the first time. You pick, my Omega, my Dean.”</p><p>With a hand on Castiel’s chest, he pushes Castiel onto his back, into the middle of the nest. Gazing at him, he can’t help but smile, he so badly wanted the Alpha nestled in the blankets with him and he’s now here.</p><p>“Going to ride, me Dean?” Castiel smiles and runs his hands down Dean’s body, eyes eating him up and appreciating every flex of muscle. “Are you going to take every inch of my cock inside your incredible, delectable body, Omega-mine?”</p><p>“Yes,” Dean murmurs against Castiel’s lips, straddling his muscular thighs and palming Castiel’s sizable erection. He’s large for an Alpha, the knot slowly filling at the base under Dean’s administrations.</p><p>“So beautiful, Omega-mine,” Castiel gasps out when Dean twists his hands slowly and fingers his slit. Castiel’s head drops back, lips open in a half-smile and bliss. Dean can’t help but play with Castiel, hand running up and down the Alpha’s cock, watching as Castiel’s hips undulate underneath his ministrations and sighs and moans of ecstasy escaping his lips. When it’s obvious neither of them can’t take anymore teasing, Dean moves up and kisses him.</p><p>Large hands anchor and ground him at his hips as Dean steadies himself over his Alpha’s cock and slowly lowers himself down. Every inch dragged slowly into his slick, wet heat.</p><p>Dean pauses for a moment with his eyes tightly closed, savoring the feeling of being completely filled. Like two pieces of a puzzle, he and Castiel fit perfectly, like they were made for one another. He has never felt this full, this complete and he relishes the feeling.</p><p>He slowly starts to move, the slide of Cas’ cock caressing him from the inside.</p><p>Castiel moans out obscenities along with Dean’s name<em>, </em>fingers flexing into Dean’s hips. The feeling is divine, Dean takes his time… wanting to savor this moment after wanting it for so long.</p><p>Locking eyes, he undulates his hips, grinding slowly on Castiel. Dean takes his time… wanting to savor this moment after wanting it for so long. He rides Castiel until his thighs shake and his legs can’t hold his body anymore.</p><p>Cas is gentle, rolling them over, keeping the leisurely intense pace. Soft kisses, nips, and open-mouthed licks are exchanged. Every roll of their tongues is met and felt and exchanged.</p><p>It feels like lovemaking to Dean, reverent touches and worship between them. Dean gazes at his handsome Alpha and takes in all that is Castiel in this moment, skin flushed, his hair curling, skin damp, and eyes so intensely blue. His knot brushes up against Dean’s rim, making Dean gasp out in pleasure.</p><p>“Knot me, Alpha,” he pleads, urging Castiel to go faster, harder. His fingers digging into the Alpha’s shoulders and back.</p><p>“Dean,” Cas growls and his thrusts become sharp and powerful, moving Dean and fulfilling his desire to be fucked. Pistoning into Dean, the sounds of their damp flesh coming together over and over, and the wet sounds of Dean’s slickened channel fill the air. Their scents are blending, the room smelling like a field of honeysuckle.</p><p>Wrapping Dean’s legs around his waist, Castiel moves his hand between the two of them to grasp Dean’s long-forgotten erection. Using his slick, Castiel jacks Dean in rhythm to his thrusts. His hand is tight and quick, unraveling Dean so quickly that he starts chanting Castiel’s name.<em> “Cas, Alpha, fuc</em>k.”</p><p>“Come, Omega,” Castiel growls.</p><p>Dean gasps out and explodes quickly, pleasure singing through his veins and blacking out his vision. Castiel’s knot swells even more. He’s fucking Dean hard, jarring Dean upwards in the nest, dispersing pillows and wringing another orgasm out of Dean.</p><p>“<em>Castiel</em>,” Dean cries out, almost like a prayer when he can feel the hot splash of Cas’ release.</p><p>He lies boneless, pulling Cas down on top of him, feeling Cas come deep within him, over and over. Locked together, Cas maneuvers them to a comfortable position, nuzzling Dean’s scent gland. Placing open mouth kisses all along the side of Dean’s neck and jaw. Dean feels euphoric, feeling so close to Castiel and still joined. He presses his lips into Castiel’s neck, tasting the salt of his skin and breathing in his scent. Dean could have never imagined feeling this way, a little piece of him has been fulfilled. Blinking tears away quickly, Dean clears his throat and presses a firmer kiss into Castiel’s skin, his teeth grazing where a mating bite would go. The Alpha shudders, coming again with Dean’s name wrung from his lips.</p><p>With a hum of pleasure, Dean can’t help but bite a little harder. Nosing the spot and laving the forming bruise with his tongue. With a quick thrust, Cas sinks in farther, his knot and cock brushing up against Dean’s prostate gland making him groan. “Tease,” Dean moans, when Cas takes to biting and sucking on his own scent gland.</p><p>Dean can feel the smile on Cas’ lips, buried in his neck. Two two trade lazy kisses while Castiel’s delayed aftershocks jar them both from each other’s lips. Dean lets out a quiet laugh, “You think you can do this for the next few days, Cas?”</p><p>“I’ll call in,” Cas mumbles out, close to his ear.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The scent of coffee tickles his nose first, followed by the unique smell of satisfied Alpha. Wiggling his toes and fingers, Dean groans. Every inch of him protests the movements. Four days of heat sex has left him almost unbearably sore.</p><p>After the first day, their bouts of fucking had only gotten kinkier and rougher. So deep in the throes of his own heat and ecstasy, he hadn’t noticed it at the time, but now he could swear that Castiel’s rut had been triggered. His Alpha was downright animalistic. Scent marking him, biting, coming all over the two of them, even felching, but mostly only uttering only a few words, <em>Dean, Omega, mine,</em> put together.</p><p>“I’ve brought you some painkillers and coffee,” Castiel’s voice is soft, registering even lower and deeper, roughened from all the growling and shouting.</p><p>“Thank you,” Dean whispers, not sounding much better. Eyes closed, he drags himself to lean against the headboard. Silently, Castiel hands him the pills and a glass of water. Dean downs it and holds out his hand for his coffee.</p><p>Pleased that Castiel remembered how he took his coffee, completely black, the two sit in silence sipping. Once he feels a little less like death warmed up, Dean turns to the quiet Alpha.</p><p>“How are you feeling?”</p><p>“Sore… and honored I got to share this heat with you,” Cas states, taking a long sip of his coffee.</p><p>Blushing, Dean replies, “I’m glad you were here with me, too. My first real heat.”</p><p>“Mine as well,” Castiel admits, placing a gentle hand on the back of Dean’s neck and playing with the short hairs. He pulls Dean in for a kiss on the temple.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Mmm-hmmm,” Castiel hums and lets Dean go to look into his eyes, “The first heat that I’ve ever shared and my first rut.”</p><p>Dean stares at his Alpha, surprised but secretly pleased that he’s the only one to share this with Cas. Dean couldn’t have asked for a better Alpha, Castiel is everything he could have ever asked for. They finish their coffees, pressed close and affectionate.</p><p>“Let’s shower and then find something to eat,” Castiel suggests, brushing back the fine hairs that rest on Dean’s forehead. Castiel helps him out of the bed and into the shower, staying close and hands constantly petting Dean softly. A brush down his back, a hand on his arm, nuzzling Dean’s temple. He hasn’t really let go of Dean all morning. Dean teases Cas mercilessly and is rewarded with a brilliant brush that even colors the tips of his man’s ears.</p><p>“It’s an old Alpha instinct, even though I know it's not possible right now, it’s urging me to stay close just in case you are with child,” Castiel murmurs against the nape of his neck, kissing the mottled bruises there. Moving into the shower, Dean is relieved that the warm spray is loosening up and relaxing his sore body. Castiel started washing Dean’s body and massaging his muscles.</p><p>Almost embarrassingly slow to register what Castiel said, panic curls low in his gut and rises in his throat. He clears his throat, almost choking on his words, looking uneasily at his Alpha, “What if it is possible right now?”</p><p>So still with shock that Dean could probably knock him over with one finger, Castiel drops the washcloth out of his hand. It falls with a large carrying splat against the tile, the sound is so loud… almost as loud as Dean’s pounding heart feels.  Dean takes in Cas’ visage, eyes huge and face oscillating between pure panic and happiness. His voice barely audible over the water, “Are you serious?”</p><p>“Oh god, I’m so sorry Cas. I should have said something before,” Dean laments, his scent souring quickly. He’s such an idiot. Sex 101, always use contraceptives!</p><p>“No, love. No, my Omega, you misunderstand me,” Castiel hurries to say, gathering Dean’s face in his big hands and pressing a chaste kiss onto Dean’s lips, “I would… I would love to have a baby with you. Any pup between us would be wonderful. An absolute dream come true.”</p><p>“I hear a “but” in that statement.”</p><p>“You are still married,” Castiel admits, his thumb working over Dean’s bottom lip. Dean enjoys the feeling, his eyes shuttering closed as he focuses on the press of Cas’ body against his own. He nods, pulling away from Cas. They continue their shower in silence. Castiel’s touches are hesitant and his manner subdued. Dean has to make a decision, it’s not fair to any of them to live in purgatory.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean expected that Aaron would come home when his heat was over. What he did not expect was for Castiel and Aaron to meet just as Castiel was leaving after their incredibly awkward lunch.</p><p>Castiel and Dean had not talked much since the shower, and all the ease and warm affection seemed to have disappeared with the last of Dean’s heat. Castiel’s eyes are sad, and his scent is muted. Dean had wondered, but now he knows Cas is holding back his feelings, so they don’t affect his scent.</p><p>Filled with mortification and embarrassment, Dean stands rooted to the spot, eyes shifting from his Alpha to his husband in the entryway of their home. The three men stand awkwardly. He can feel Aaron’s eyes take in his appearance. Dean’s shirtless and only wearing boxers, his entire body is covered in bite marks, hickeys, and beard burn. His lips are bruised and chapped. His mating gland is a canvas of purples, reds, and yellow. Castiel, though his clothing is hiding most of the bruises and bites, looks the same.</p><p>“I will see you tomorrow at work,” Cas says as sort of goodbye and heads to his car, wearing a mishmash of Dean’s clothes and the ones he wore when he arrived almost a week ago. He won’t even look at Dean, curled around himself.</p><p>Watching his Alpha walk away from him hurts. Tears well up in his eyes and he blinks them away rapidly. Aaron squeezes past him as Dean watches Castiel drive away. Feeling bereft, Dean walks into the house and closes the door tightly behind him. The entire house smells like them, a mixture of sex and happy alpha and omega. It only makes Dean feel worse.</p><p>Aaron is waiting for him…sitting on the couch, wringing his hands and his right leg bouncing. Dean sees that Aaron isn’t wearing his wedding ring either with every twist of his hands. His eyes are somewhat sad and his body language screams anxiety, and Dean feels sick with the uncertainty of how their conversation will go. Dean sits across from him, gathers a pillow to his chest and waits on Aaron to break the silence. He doesn’t have to wait long.</p><p>“No hospital visit this time, huh?”</p><p>“No, I’m fine. Cas took care of me,” Dean murmurs, eyes trained on the couch behind Aaron and not his eyes.</p><p>“I figured,” Aaron states and clears his throat, “I figured it out, I mean…Mom warned me. You know? She said you came home smelling like an Alpha forever ago. I didn’t think anything of it at the time because the two of us… the two of us were just so comfortable with each other and I didn’t think anything would happen.”</p><p>Pausing and looking at Dean with such an open and understanding look breaks Dean’s heart. Aaron clears his throat again and gives Dean a watery smile, “It wasn’t until he brought you those flowers that I knew he was in love with you. The entire night, his eyes never left you. He’s completely devoted to you, I have never seen anything like it. And Dean… you may not realize, but you look at him the same way. And I was just so, so jealous. You’ve never looked at me like that. Never in my life has anyone ever looked at me with such love and devotion and I think, I think even though we are comfortable with each other, I think we both deserve more. I know I deserve more. Don’t you think?”</p><p>A messy sob burst from Dean’s chest and Aaron's face crumples, tears collecting in his eyes but not quite falling. “I think all this time, we’ve just been complacent and I think we both need more now,” Aaron’s voice wobbles and he moves over to pull Dean into a hug, “You know, I will always love you, man. You have been my family, my best friend for the past seventeen years. But we want different things now. We are different people than we were at eighteen and it would be unfair to limit our lives on our teenage decision.”</p><p>“Love you too,” Dean whispers.</p><p>“I know you do,” Aaron replies, holding on to Dean tightly and then letting go, “But correct me if I’m wrong here, but I think Castiel is your true mate.”</p><p>Wiping his tears away with his hands, Dean nods, “Yeah. I think he is.”</p><p>“I half expected to find you mated when I came home,” Aaron smiles weakly.</p><p>“Still married, Aaron,” grumbles Dean.</p><p>“Trust me, I know,” Aaron laughs, “I had to remind myself of that when I couldn’t take it anymore, watching you two dance around each other for another month. Hearing about your new friend Cas every day when you got home from work, then seeing you at the party. I was strangely rooting for you guys to figure it out. Didn’t know you were so damn stubborn.”</p><p>Guffawing and pushing Aaron over on the couch, Dean is quick to erase the remaining tears and lingering sadness. “That is so freaking weird, dude.”</p><p>“Tell me about it,” Aaron replies, a real smile spread across his face. Dean and Aaron hug each other tightly. Breathing and taking comfort as friends do.</p><p>“You think you’ll be ok?” Dean asks quietly, feeling uneasy.</p><p>“Of course, Dean.”</p><p>Aaron says it with such confidence and with ease that Dean instantly believes him. Feeling relieved beyond words, Dean can’t help to think that this conversation could have gone a million different ways and that he’s so grateful for Aaron. He’s about to express his gratitude when Aaron nudges him and interrupts his internal musing, “We can sort out all the details later, but uh… shouldn’t you go talk to Castiel?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Dean says slowly, looking down at his body and patting for his car keys and realizing he’s still in his boxers. “Yeah, I need to go talk to him.”</p><p>“Pants, shoes, and shirt, Dean,” Aaron teases as Dean races up that hall to throw on some clothes.</p><p>It’s not until he’s sliding into the Impala, cranking her up and feeling his heart beating a mile a minute, that he realizes that he doesn’t have Castiel’s address. He knows that he lives close to downtown on Chestnut street and that last summer Jimmy planted hydrangeas that turned out to be blue up against the mint colored house, not that particular piece of information is useful late February. He wracks his brain for more information. He knows that Cas drives the ugliest gold Continental and Claire drives a 1982 red Subaru. He’s had many conversations with Cas about their abysmal choice in vehicles. Dean knows that Cas painted the door brown to compliment the mint, it was flamingo pink when he moved in, and that Cas has a bench swing on the wrap around front porch.</p><p>Driving the Impala towards Chestnut street is easy, his hands are shaking from nerves but he holds on to the steering wheel like a lifeline. He goes at snail's pace, frustrating the people behind him, but he locates Castiel’s house with their cars in the driveway with relative ease. Pulling into the driveway of a quaint Craftsman, he cuts the car off quickly and bounds up the steps knocking on the door.</p><p>No one answers, he sees the cars in the driveway parked and knocks again. Swallowing the anxiety that is rolling in his throat, he steps back and waits. Hands twisting in his beat up old t-shirt and wrinkled flannel he carelessly threw on. He’s got his leather jacket, but it’s cold. The sun is setting behind the trees and Dean can see his breath puffing out in front of him.</p><p>“What?” The door whips open and he’s assaulted with the smell of the righteous fury of an Angry Alpha. Dean backs up out of pure instinct. Claire’s rage is palpable and she looks like she’s going to launch her small body and claw Dean’s eyes out, “Don’t you think you’ve done enough damage?”</p><p>“Claire Anne Novak,” a softer voice calls and pulls her back into the house. Jimmy Novak is so similar to Cas, it makes Dean ache with longing, but his eyes are also not as kind and steeled against Dean. “Hello, Dean.”</p><p>“Hi Jimmy,” Dean replies, hysteria bubbling up. It feels so funny greeting a man he knows and doesn’t know at the same time, “Can I… uh, can I see Cas?”</p><p>“What are you going to say to him?” Jimmy asks, barring Dean from entering.</p><p>“I talked with Aaron, ok?” Dean says easily and impatiently, “But, I really just need to talk to Cas.”</p><p>“Go check the food, Claire-bear,” Jimmy says patiently, pushing his daughter and her anger away from Dean.</p><p>“Don’t let that asshole in,” she snaps, using her Alpha voice. Jimmy falters, his face shocked from being spoken to in that way.</p><p>“Look here, Angry Barbie, I’m trying to fix things. Don't even think of using your Alpha voice on me,” Dean growls back. The two have a staring contest, neither backing down until Jimmy places a hand on Claire’s shoulder.</p><p>Looking a bit repentant but still angry Claire murmurs a, “Sorry, Dad,” but holds her ground. </p><p>“Claire,” Jimmy intones, “Cas needs to eat. So go check the soup.”</p><p>Huffing, Claire stomps off into the house and Jimmy lets Dean in quickly. Closing the door and the cold air behind him.</p><p>“She’s protective of him, protective of us both,” Jimmy explains, motioning to take Dean’s jacket and hanging it up. Dean practically rips off his laces and quickly toes off his boots as Jimmy points to the hallway behind them, “Cas is in the last room on the right.”</p><p>Dean’s long strides are quick to eat up the distance of the hallway, his bare feet making soft slapping noises as he steps. Knocking to be polite, he opens the door and is smacked with the bitter scent of an Alpha beyond despair.</p><p>Castiel’s room smells like death.</p><p>With the shades drawn and no lamps on, Dean can barely make out the Cas’ sized lump in the middle of the bed. He lets his eyes adjust, going deeper into the room, Dean sits on the side of the bed and lays a hand on what he thinks is Castiel’s arm.</p><p>“Cas? Alpha?”</p><p>Blankets shift and Castiel jerks up. Dean meets the puffy eyes of his Alpha. If Cas smells like death, he certainly looks like it too. He’s got tear tracks running down his cheeks, his nose is red, face swollen, and his nose is even running. He’s quiet crying, a type of crying that only happens to someone whose soul is wounded.</p><p>“Cas,” Dean cries, voice wobbling in empathy.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Castiel chokes out, his voice wrecked.</p><p>“I’ve come to talk to you,” Dean says, reaching out and wiping away the silent tears. Castiel leans into his touch and pulls away, looking guarded.</p><p>“About what?”</p><p>“Aaron and I are separating,” Dean simply replies and Castiel lets out wrecked yet relieved sobs that shake his entire body.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry I did this,” Dean whispers and holds on to Cas while the other man cries, “I was so scared. I was so scared of what my life could look like with you and how badly I wanted it. God, I have never wanted something so badly in my life and I… I was a coward.. And I did this, and I didn’t know how much you were hurting. I don’t know what's wrong with me.”</p><p>Cas and Dean hold onto each other until Castiel quiets, his cries turning into hiccups and then slowing till his breaths are deep and even. His scent mellows from abject misery to relief with a little tinge of happiness. Castiel’s face is tucked up underneath Dean’s chin. Dean wipes the few tears that escape his eyes away hastily. He’s not the wronged party here, he doesn’t get to cry.</p><p>“I can smell your guilt,” Castiel whispers, his lips tickling against Dean’s neck, “Don’t feel guilty, my love. I would have waited for you forever.”</p><p>That makes Dean feel even worse and he curls tightly around Castiel. Castiel shifts so he can look into Dean’s face, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Dean’s mouth. “Really, there is nothing to feel guilty about. I knew it was a risk, waiting for you, loving you, and being only friends. I knew eventually you would make your decision, one way or another. I just wasn’t prepared to share your heat and then have to walk away,” Castiel says quietly.</p><p>“I didn’t want you to go,” admits Dean.</p><p>“You didn’t ask me to stay.”</p><p>Biting his lips and sniffling, Dean gazes into Castiel’s blue eyes, realizing that he should actually talk to him instead of bottling it all up and keeping his thoughts and feelings to himself. With a heaving breath, Dean lets out a large shaky sigh, “I can’t tell you how sorry I am. For everything.”</p><p>Nodding, Cas runs a hand down Dean’s arm, “I don’t need any more apologies, Dean. I forgave you the moment you walked through the door. I just want us to be on the same page from now on.”</p><p>“I want us to be together,” Dean admits, feeling fatigued and dropping his head onto Castiel’s shoulder. With some maneuvering, Castiel pulls them both underneath the covers, and curls around Dean. With gentle hands, he cards his fingers through Dean’s hair and down his neck and arm. Just absent minded caresses that make Dean feel so good. Pinpricks of emotion gather in his eyes, but Castiel shushes him gently. Like lead weighing down his limbs, he feels the fatigue pulling him into sleep and so he shifts even closer to Castiel. Wanting his warmth, his body, his love. Unable to keep his eyes open any longer, they drift closed, shutting out the world.</p><p>“So, we’ll be together,” Castiel whispers.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>It takes ninety days to finalize Dean’s divorce. In that time, Dean and Aaron split their belongings and sell their ostentatious house. Dean buys a historic fixer-upper, a four bedroom colonial on Mississippi Street in Old West Lawrence. Castiel moves in with him as soon as Dean gets the keys and puts their names on the deed, paying his part of the mortgage. The majority of their weekends are spent rehabilitating the house. Devoting all of his creative energy to the place, Dean remodels the Colonial exactly the way he’s always dreamed of doing. Gourmet kitchen, butler’s pantry, a large laundry, and he even converts some of the basement into an entertainment room (he calls it<em>The Dean Cave</em>, much to Castiel’s amusement). They fill the home with love and the walls reflect the perfect blend of both personalities. Dean even paints one of the spare bedrooms a shade of soft yellow that Castiel fell in love with when they were looking at paints.</p><p>Dean couldn’t be happier.</p><p>After the renovations are done, Saturday mornings in Spring are spent in bed. Legs tangled and coffee set to brew automatically. Castiel is always the one to shimmy out of bed and fetch the coffee, kissing Dean awake and handing him in his mug. Dean would fuss more about only having one cup of coffee a day, but being brought coffee in bed by an affectionate Alpha makes the imposed limitation worth it. Much to Dean’s confusion, Castiel has been on a health kick recently, dragging Dean along kicking and screaming, he’s been limiting their caffeine intake and has banished alcohol from the house. He’s also been acting strangely throughout the renovations, and even afterward, insisting that Dean wear a mask respirator when painting and he is beyond cautious about Dean doing manual labor.</p><p>Dean’s curled up in their king sized bed, sunlight filtering through the sheer curtains, waiting on his coffee. He’s wrapped up in their blankets, dozing while listening out for the soft padding of Castiel’s feet against the hardwood floors. Dean thinks about the summer, where every day can be like Saturday for two teachers.</p><p>“Here you go, my love,” his Alpha murmurs, placing the mug on Dean’s side dresser and crawling back into bed. He sits next to Dean, who is on his stomach, blankets pulled up around his head, eyes barely peeking out from his blanket nest.</p><p>“Thanks,” Dean’s sleep roughened voice grits out. He’s not a morning person, he’ll never be a morning person, but lately, he’s been feeling so fatigued. Though, Dean figures it’s because of the nonstop work recently.</p><p>“You wanted to look at landscaping today,” Castiel comments, hand petting Dean’s wild hedgehog hair.</p><p>“I know,” groans Dean.</p><p>“We can always go to the home store tomorrow.”</p><p>“If you’d let me have more than one cup of coffee I wouldn’t be so tired in the mornings,” Dean snips, burrowing deeper into the bed.</p><p>Castiel hums and Dean can hear the smile on his lips without even seeing his Alpha. “How about, you drink your coffee and we find a different way to energize you,” teases Cas, his hand running down the plane of Dean’s back and cupping his buttocks.</p><p>“You gonna blow me?”</p><p>“Drink your coffee.”</p><p>“That’s not a no,” Dean smirks, emerging from the blankets to sip from his mug.</p><p>“Not a yes,” Cas responds, though with the mirth flickering in his blue eyes tells Dean that it is a yes. His Alpha is a kinky fuck. The two of them have a very active sex life, though recently they have been pretty tame, Dean assumes Castiel is saving his energy and ideas for when Dean goes into heat. By his estimation, Dean thinks within the next couple of days. He’s looking forward to it, he’s been wanting Castiel to claim him as his mate and they’ve agreed on mating during heat sex.</p><p>They drink their coffee, the sexual tension growing until it's palpable between them. Lots of eye contact and teasing looks between them. When Dean finishes his coffee, he smacks his lips loudly with an impish grin. Castiel laughs at his antics, pulling the mug from his hands and setting them on his side of the bed.</p><p>“When do you meet Charlie?”</p><p>“Four.”</p><p>“Perfect.”</p><p>Castiel kisses him so softly, so reverently that Dean lets out a soft sigh of pleasure. They kiss noses, rubbing gently. Dean smells the lingering coffee between them as Castiel peppers soft kisses all over his face. Dean can feel the gathering slick leak into his boxers and he squirms in anticipation, he knows that Castiel can smell his escaped arousal because his Alpha smiles against his cheek. Castiel continues these maddening soft kisses, slow and sensual, rolling his tongue and nipping at Dean’s lips. Dean’s fingers are bruising, trying to spur his Alpha into some action.</p><p>“Lie back,” Castiel whispers, running his hands down Dean’s body. His mouth trails wet open mouthed kisses down Dean’s neck and onto Dean’s pectoral muscle. Shuttering his eyes, Dean relinquishes himself and his pleasure into Castiel’s hands. Sucking and swirling one of Dean’s nipples in his mouth, pleasure explodes behind Dean’s eyelids.</p><p>“Holy fuck,” Dean gasps, “That feels so fucking good, Alpha.”</p><p>Castiel’s tongue massages one nipple and his nimble fingers pet the other. He switches and Dean is breathless, muscles twitching, and so surprised at the sensitivity of his nipples.</p><p>“Never felt this good before,” Dean pants, fingers carding through Castiel’s hair.</p><p>“I know, my Omega,” Castiel rasps out, trailing kisses across Dean’s chest to worship each nipple equally. Dean is coiled so tight, he can feel his cock twitching and his hole spasming and Cas is nowhere near either. He’s keening, hips undulating when Castiel finally takes pity and touches Dean’s dick.</p><p>“O’ fuck,” Dean moans, as Castiel moves his way down Dean’s body. Castiel presses kisses reverently into Dean’s abdomen before he moves down to kiss Dean’s weeping cock. Enthusiastically, noisily, and messily Castiel “blows” Dean. Castiel sucks and bobs, his cheeks hollowing and his hand playing with Dean’s balls and his opening. Teasing touches that just press and skirt away. Castiel continues his ministrations, Dean’s body hungering and responding to every touch. Dean fists Castiel’s hair when his fingers dip into his hole, massaging and pressing against Dean’s prostate. His Alpha watches him writhe through his eyelashes, his face full of rapture. Dean is so close to coming that he taps Castiel’s shoulder, a sign between them that their orgasm is imminent.</p><p>“Edging it today?” Cas questions, blowing on the tip and making Dean moan. His Alpha’s lips are shiny with spit and precome. Dean watches as his Alpha takes the two slick soaked fingers and licks them clean of slick.</p><p>“Knot,” Dean pleads, pulling on Castiel and spreading his legs as wide as they possibly will go.</p><p>“Present,” Castiel growls in response.</p><p>“Fuck yes,” Dean eagerly scrambles to his hands and knees. Ass into the air and legs spread wide. He loves presenting for his Alpha, it brings out the beast within Castiel. He doesn’t get any warning when Cas spreads his cheeks wide and spears his tongue into his ready hole.</p><p>Lapping up slick and sucking at his hole, Dean’s reduced to cries of pleasure. Pressing back into his face, he can feel the slick Castiel isn’t greedily devouring trickle down his legs. He’s so aroused and he can scent Castiel’s desire and heady arousal in the air. Behind him, Cas is unconsciously letting out rumbling growls of appreciation. Dean once again, feels the fire of orgasm growing within his gut. Trembling, he tries to pull away from his Alpha, not wanting to come until Castiel is inside of him. The desire wells inside of him and his inner Omega screams to be mated.</p><p>“Knot, mate,” Dean cries out, feeling like his consciousness is floating away. With soft laps of his tongue, Castiel stills his ministrations. “Mate, claim me, please,” Dean pleads, his entire body shaking with the desire to be Castiel’s fully.</p><p>“Yes, omega,” Castiel growls out and grabs Dean’s hips roughly. Castiel is in full Alpha mode, his large cock sliding between Dean’s cheeks and then slowly pressing inside of him. Dean lets out a hoarse shout when Castiel is seated fully, feeling so impossibly full and amazing at the same time. With his arm around Dean’s chest, Cas hauls Dean to his knees so he’s sitting back in his lap, his Alpha’s thrusts are smooth and slow. Castiel has one hand on Dean’s neck, with just the right amount of pressure that Dean likes, and one hand wrapped around his torso to steady him.</p><p>Castiel tastes like the lingering coffee, his precome, and Dean’s slick and Dean can’t get enough of it. Moaning into his Alpha’s mouth, Castiel’s tongue is relentless as his hips. All-encompassing pleasure and so slow and sure that Dean quakes with the effort of holding himself together. He’s close again, this time not stopping the rise and unfurling of his orgasm. Panting and pulling away from his lover’s lips, Dean tips his head back exposing his neck for his mate. When Castiel’s knot catches and pushes past his rim, Dean explodes from the white hot pleasure and locks down on his Alpha’s knot.</p><p>Castiel presses his lips and then bites down, breaking skin and claiming Dean. Bliss shoots through Dean and he comes again with a hoarse shout. He feels Castiel orgasm, filling him and pulsing warmth inside of him.</p><p>Dean blacks out and eventually comes to. Castiel is no longer nestled inside of him and his gentle hands are smoothing the bandage on Dean’s neck. </p><p>“Where'd you stash supplies?” Dean slurs touching the bandage.</p><p>“Wedged between the headboard and the bed,” Castiel responds.</p><p>“You boy scout. How long was I out?”</p><p>“An hour and a half, my knot just went down a little,” Castiel murmurs, glancing down at the mess pooled in his groin and his still somewhat hard erection.</p><p>Dean lets out a huff of laughter, pulling himself up from sitting and wincing from the slight pain from his mating bite. It feels so good, a thrum of belonging and connection has been ignited in his veins and Castiel’s scent is changing. Pulling Dean into his lap, Castiel kisses him softly and gazes lovingly into Dean’s eyes.</p><p>“You should bite me too,” Cas whispers against Dean’s lips, “I want you to.” It’s not as common for Alphas to bear the mating mark.</p><p>“Cold turkey like this?”</p><p>“Yes,” Castiel says baring his neck, “I want to belong to you, just as you belong to me.”</p><p>Feeling a rush of emotion, Dean nuzzles and kisses the perfect spot for a mating mark. Quick, Dean bites down breaking skin and earning a gasp of pleasure from Castiel. He feels a splash of Cas’ release and feels his Alpha’s aftershocks quake through his body beneath Dean’s teeth.</p><p>“My perfect mate,” Castiel chokes out, voice filled with awe.</p><p>Letting go, Dean wipes the blood from his mouth and gives his mate a happy smile. His smile wobbles with unshed tears of pure happiness, “My mate.”</p><p>Clearing his throat, Dean gathers up the supplies to clean and bandage his mate. He can feel his Alpha’s gaze heavy on him, full of love and adoration.</p><p>“I love you,” Castiel says softly, it’s not the first time Cas has expressed his love but tears pinprick Dean’s eyes because Castiel is officially now his Mate.</p><p>“I love you too,” he whispers back. They trade soft kisses, tinged with blood. Their scents are so happy, so mated, and Dean is thrilled that this is his life now. He’s truly home, with Castiel.</p><p>“Let’s shower, eat, and maybe take a nap, huh?” Dean suggests, hands resting on Castiel’s chest.</p><p>“Better set an alarm, so you don’t miss your date with Charlie,” Castiel reminds, pulling Dean out of bed and into the bathroom.</p><p>“Will do.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Charlie screeches with excitement upon seeing Dean’s fresh bandage peeking out from his collar. The other patrons side-eye her nastily in the bistro but she flings herself around Dean and hugs him hard.</p><p>“Look at you, Winchester! Mated!”</p><p>“Yes, yes,” Dean laughs.</p><p>“We need to celebrate!” Charlie flags down the waiter, “Champagne! Two, please!”</p><p>Dean sits across from the exuberant Beta, not even fighting the silly grin that can’t be contained. They chat, Charlie gushing with happiness for Dean. When the two flutes of champagne are placed before him, he’s hesitant to take a sip.</p><p>“What’s up?”</p><p>“I haven’t had a beer or anything in the past three months, Cas is on this crazy cleanse and I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I’d feel guilty if I had champagne without him,” Dean admits, his fingers gathering the condensation from the glass.</p><p>“Cas is on a cleanse?”</p><p>“Yeah, no alcohol, no processed meats, no raw fish. I wanted to eat hot dogs the other day and he gave me a lecture on how bad they were for me,” Dean laughs and takes a swig of his water. </p><p>“That’s strange, what else has he been doing?” Charlie asks hesitantly, her fingers fiddling with her napkin.</p><p>“Well,” Dean stops and thinks, his face scrunched up looking at Charlie going over the past few months in his head, “When we were renovating and painting, he insisted that the two of us wear these crazy ventilator masks. He doesn’t let me do any heavy lifting by myself. He’s really affectionate, but I think that’s just part of his make up. And besides today's sexcapades, he’s been kinda tame between the sheets.”</p><p>Charlie’s eyes widen and she takes a long pull from her champagne glass.</p><p>“What?” Dean barks.</p><p>“Well… from the little of what you’ve told me, he may be operating under the assumption that you’re pregnant?” Charlie squeaks out, nervous.</p><p>“<em>What?</em>”</p><p>“Shhhh, you are so loud,” Charlie hushes and Dean lowers his volume and asks again, “What?”</p><p>“You dingus,” Charlie groans, hands covering her eyes and letting out an exasperated huff, “He is being all protective Alpha because maybe he thinks you’re pregnant.”</p><p>“But I’m not,” Dean protests.</p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p>Dean pauses. He’s been fatigued. His nipples are out of this world sensitive. He’s also been peeing a lot. He had convinced himself that was all because of the move and the renovations… could he really be pregnant?</p><p>“No, I’m not sure,” he responds slowly, the weight of reality settling in on his shoulders.</p><p>“Maybe you should stop at the store on your way home, pick up a test to be sure,” Charlie says matter of factly, draining her glass and reaching over and draining Dean’s. With a smile, she chirps, “Lets order!”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Under the harsh fluorescent lights of Aisle 9, Dean stands and gazes out unseeing at the row of pregnancy tests. The colors and words blurring together before his eyes. His mating bite smarts and he doesn’t know what to do. Should he call Cas? Should he just go ahead and buy a test? Adding to his uncertainty, he had to dodge the exhausted Omegas buying diapers with infants screaming up a storm.</p><p>Feeling the irony of the situation, Dean lets out a nervous laugh. He twists his fingers and shakily picks up a test that proclaims accurate results.</p><p>The smell of home and mate fills his senses before he feels the press of his Alpha’s body against his. Sweet earth, fresh air, sunshine, and mine. Dean feels himself calming instantly, his Alpha is miraculously here.</p><p>Plucking the test out Dean’s hands, Castiel peruses the directions on the back. Dean takes in the profile of his mate. Crystal blue eyes, sharp jaw, wide handsome lips, wild dark hair, and strong shoulders beneath one of Dean’s old t-shirts. His mate is so devastatingly handsome.</p><p>“If it would make you feel more at ease, you can purchase this test,” Castiel comments handing the test back to Dean, “But I can assure you, with the utmost certainty, I know you are carrying our child.”</p><p>Shocked, Dean takes back the test. His movements slow and his eyes wide, “How do you know?”</p><p>“Your scent,” Castiel responds with a shy smile, “Some of the subtler notes of your scent have been altered and also, simply because I'm your Alpha.”</p><p>Nodding dumbly, Dean blurts out a question that is burning in his brain, “Why are you at the grocery store?”</p><p>“Bandages,” Castiel replies, holding up and shaking the mentioned box.</p><p>“You sure, Cas?” Dean asks, hesitantly. The joy of having a baby fills him.</p><p>“Come here, my Omega,” his Alpha softly commands with a huge smile, voice deep and rumbling and so full of emotion.</p><p>“I’m sure,” Castiel whispers as he pulls his mate into a warm hug. Rubbing Dean’s back with slow steady circles. The two of them holding boxes in one hand and clutching on to each other with the other. Dean sinks into the comfort of his mate’s arms.</p><p> </p><p> Dean’s home and his dreams are coming true.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-fin</em>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*</p><p>*</p><p>*</p><p>Thank you for reading!</p>
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